/lit/ - Literature

>>7241246
Brian's stand in's parents wince awake seemingly tied somehow to the hard wet sound of their son's head smacking into a pube ringed college toilet. Is he even in college, we don't know! so let's open up an alternate timeline where he's in his parent's home, see, he's not yet a butterfly free to drop fake acid or be in the library or w/e plus now: sci-fi! And Mom whispers to Dad "go check on him" and Dadoo groans and flipflutters the covers off and walks down the corridor to the bathroom between yr rooms—or they lay awake and yr in college: Honey? You awake?

Either way yr out, dude. Yr body slides back and out and back o the head to tile w/a click o th teeth—awake but which timeline? Brian—no longer a stand in—grunting, gets up and in the mirror is a Milhouse Van Houten looking motherfucker. Wha?

Suddenly the door splinters KA-CRkkkk and a gaggle of giant scorpo-mantises with suits and big ass LASER guns funnel into the room—wha? Oh ho ho the acid was real was it? Where am I yr thinking—Mom? Dad? And Dadoo's cradling yr unconscious body shouting BARBARA and the nightlight lit bathroom smells like urine and yr Daddy's heart is pounding like a bathroom door abt to be kicked in by scorpo-mantises: Brian McGillicuddy, yr under arrest for probable science fiction plagiarism! Two SMs having LASER cuffed ye, their leader shoots a LASER portal into yr hallway wall, making an intergalactic unfunny wordplay word I'm not going to type.

Jim! Yr Mom panting gets to the door frame and yr Da-da's head curves around flat eyed to yr Mom and she sees the body. A mannequin. A crash test dummy. Dad freaks out and drops it like a load of bowling pins and backs to the door, yr ma grabbing his arms, scared and confused...

Turns out trans-dimensional travel isn't yr thing and after a split second of body shivers ye vomit all over the new place's floor, ye haven't even seen it yet, let me describe it: