/lit/ - Literature

I fucked up a story I've had in my head for almost seventeen years. When I was in elementary school I imagined things just like any other kid, instead I imagined a giant sci-fi war against the school where everything was thousands of the times bigger, the school was a giant fortress the size of a mountain range and twigs and such were battleships. I imagined a war between two factions, "whos" and "lice" which were autistic names but I was a little kid. I had characters, Peter and Emily Green who were the whos' leaders, and Timeless who led the evil lice. I continued this story throughout middle school, and on the last day I imagined a battle in which Peter and Emily died, but their son Orion survived. Orion became main character and did all the great deeds, he liberated the tree-city of Sarengarth (a tree outside my house) from its corrupt king and journeyed to the west to ancient ruins to learn the origins of the war. When I was 19, he went on a mission to destroy a louse bioweapon, and hijacked it so the lice wouldn't be immune to it. Then he fought Timeless and sacrificed himself during their knife duel, pushing them both into a pit of energy where Timeless' regeneration wouldn't work. I take a lot of inspiration from Dune so there are knife fights and whatnot, as well as psionics/visions of the future. Orion's children, Leo and Andromeda, succeeded him as main characters, but I didn't like them as much. I introduced their cousin as an Orion-like figure but he didn't fit so I had him leave. Around this time I began considering to resurrect Orion. I had Andromeda (who had the family's penchant for visions more strongly) start having visions of her father, and these led her to the west again where she found some ancient tech, a pool of nanites that would resurrect someone. The lice found out about it too and brought Orion's burnt corpse (somehow) there to bring him back as an assassin. There was a confrontation and when Andromeda was almost killed, Orion rose from the pool to kick ass. I regretted his return almost immediately because (1) it was hacky as fuck, (2) resurrection makes death meaningless even though this device was a Clarkian tech-magic one-shot device and (3) now I had 4 main characters and splitting my attention between them lost me my alter-ego that had bonded me so closely to this story. It was so easy to slip into Orion's mindset before: now it felt alien. I could barely focus on the story anymore. Orion was like myself, we looked similar, I even have an "Orion's belt" of freckles on my right wrist (which he also has). He was the perfect self-insert, and I had him in my life for seven years (though it felt longer). Killing him off was a stupid fucking idea, but I was enamored of the generational nature of the story so I did it because I felt like he'd lived out his time. Now I've been daydreaming about some post-apocalyptic waifu shit in hopes that time heals all wounds. Idk wtf to do.