/lit/ - Literature

>>10522725
>>10522738
'tis not true I'm Asiatic,
Nor does my body resemble that of a spastic,
I'm a rough but fragile intellectual,
On a farm or library equally effectual,
I'm a coarse uncultured slovenly brute,
And a pale blushing gentleman who is so very cute,
I am Harry Potter some of the time,
And at others a rogue yearning for crime,
I can conduct myself finely around the posh,
But also around those who have no dosh,
A man of the streets, a working class hero,
But also the kind to weep at a concerto,
Timothy, Pippa and Clementine love me,
Yet Neil, Craig and Chantel are just as adoring,
I'm a quivering fumbling virgin bridegroom,
And a man who has plundered many a womb,
I'm a big hairy bear for the girls who roughly enjoy it,
A tender prince for those who've barely touched their clit,
I can discuss obscure texts with men of old age,
And believe me Oxford has many such a sage,
But I can also trade slang with the plebs outside Spar,
And prevent them from breaking into my car,
You see Cambridge lad, or should I say gent,
It looks like your wisdom's already well spent,
Your advice in this thread has been all unwanted,
So isn't it time that from this thread you absconded?