/lit/ - Literature

>>21689795
This, get your shit fixed christcucks.
>The canonical books
>new testament
>should I follow only Jesus?
>or should I listen to the apostles too?
>should I lisening
>old testament
>the apocryphs
>the quran
>the torah
holy shit dude, I'm scared of being wrong and burning in hell.

>>20389535
On his way he gets a call from the janny leader who says if it gets within 10 feet of /biz/ then /biz/ will cease to exist. He tells the janny that /biz/ didn't have anything to do with it. The janny just laughs and says so fucking what /biz/ is shit and should die. Wojak says his scientist friend Apu has developed an EMP weapon that he's confident will make the beast's heart explode and he's going to stop it before it reaches /biz/ and hangs up on the janny.

The janny calls in his secret assassin to head Wojak off and kill him before he can kill the monster. Wojak jumps in a Lamborghini with the EMP weapon and hurries towards /biz/ since there were no apu helicopters available. He finally catches up to the monster and it's 60 feet wide and 120 feet tall. It's a giant hideous drooling Amerimutt. For some reason it knows the Lambo is trying to catch it so it turns and starts throwing burgers at the Lambo. Wojak is dodging and all of a sudden he drives into a ditch and the Lambo gets stuck. Instead of finishing him off the monster turns around and begins loping towards /biz/.

Wojak gets out of the Lambo and starts piling shit under his tires to get the Lambo out of the ditch. In the meantime the residents of /biz/ notice the monster bounding towards them. The /biz/ anons start shooting at it. The bullets only piss it off and now it begins to projectile puke up McDonalds food with deadly accuracy. When the vomit hits people it dissolves their flesh, when it hits cars or buildings it explodes into a fiery ball.

The janny and his assassins show up and start yelling it's a dirty /biz/ trick to destroy 4chan. The anons says we don’t care where it's from but we're not going to let it destroy our home. While all of this is going on Wojak's loyal scientist friend Apu is peering out from behind a wrecked flaming car and sees it all.