/lit/ - Literature

Hey Traitors,

My name is Stannis, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are disloyal, treacherous, scum who spend every second of their day betraying their rightful king. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been the legitimate heir to the throne? I mean, I guess it’s fun rebelling against your true king because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than having the kingsguard beat a little girl.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was in charge of defending Storms End, and helped put down the Greyjoy rebelion. What wars did you fight in, other than “shoot crossbow bolts at peasants from behind a portcullis” I also get free onions, and have a banging hot red priestess (She just birthed a shadow; Shit was SO cash). You are all traitors who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and my witch.

SPOILERS BELOW

So if Stannis the Mannis had won at Blackwater and taken King's Landing, and let's say taken Cersei, Joff, Varys, all the major players, alive somehow, what would he have done with them?

I can imagine Varys switching sides at the last chance and saving his own life. But would he have put the Lannisters to the sword instantly or held them as hostages?

As for how he wins Blackwater, let's say Tywin's host is a few days late.

The night is dark and full of turnips. Let us all pray for venison, my children, with some onions and a bit of tasty gravy.

>>1933509
>>1933506
Hey Traitors,

My name is Stannis, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are disloyal, treacherous, scum who spend every second of their day betraying their rightful king. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been the legitimate heir to the throne? I mean, I guess it’s fun rebelling against your true king because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than having the kingsguard beat a little girl.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was in charge of defending Storms End, and helped put down the Greyjoy rebelion. What wars did you fight in, other than “shoot crossbow bolts at peasants from behind a portcullis” I also get free onions, and have a banging hot red priestess (She just birthed a shadow; Shit was SO cash). You are all traitors who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and my witch.

>>1925844

Hey Traitors,

My name is Stannis, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are disloyal, treacherous, scum who spend every second of their day betraying their rightful king. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been the legitimate heir to the throne? I mean, I guess it's fun rebelling against your true king because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than having the kingsguard beat a little girl.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in charge of defending Storms End, and helped put down the Greyjoy rebelion. What wars did you fight in, other than "shoot crossbow bolts at peasants from behind a portcullis" I also get free onions, and have a banging hot red priestess (She just birthed a shadow; Shit was SO cash). You are all traitors who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my witch.