/lit/ - Literature

>>21487302
Vaporwave and Hauntology is and always will be one of the most important theories on White culture. Vaporwave is the last White art. Mark Fisher was just pointing out what many already knew instinctively but the name he gave it sounds cool so he will always be an important note in history. The term Hauntology never would have detached itself from Communism and Derrida if not for him.

I hate to admit this, it is so pathetic, but I crave attention and social interaction. All my life I have considered myself an intense introvert, a loner, an outcast that just wanted to be alone forever and that was proud of how lonely I was. But the truth is that it was all an amour to hide the low self-esteem, crippling fear, anxiety and this tendency, voluntary or involuntary, of pushing people away one way or an other. I want people, I like to talk to people and I want them to talk to me, I just can't get it to work, I am worthless, ugly, social cripple. This pandemics and my life collapsing in the last years forced me to confront this, to realize this.
This website is a great proof, all my posts (including this one) and threads are made with hope that someone will reply, that someone will talk to me. I come back from time to time to check and if someone did reply I'll have a moment of happiness that someone wants to interact with me, that a conversation might come out of this. Someone took the time and attention to read what I had to say and is talking to me. And every time I check and no one replied I'll feel sad and empty for a moment.
This is all so pathetic, all my life I saw being introverted, independent, self-sufficient as a virtue, something to admire, and in the end I'm not that, I'm only pretending for the sake coping with my fears and insecurities.