/lit/ - Literature

Janny... the nadir of bureaucrats. A civil servant protecting the obscene from their liberated obscenities. He polices the criminal, attempting to bring him by his empty code of ethics his kingdom chose to reject. A bumbling peasant, a hobo. A truly sad exemplary.

Janny, won't you die? It's less shameful that persisting to lie and claim you're not a parasite, a sickening and dying animal past rigor mortis.

Janny, I might come to kill you myself. You are the bannable offense, janny. Please die for me.

>>14173894
I hate that I'm growing more conservative the more I see and hear.

By no means am I politically motivated and I really would like to live in peace with any culture. Different cultures have introduced me to some of the most kindhearted and compassionate people I know of but the current state of my city is just plain depressing. The slumps here were once supposed to be proud and fun neighborhoods. The Turks etc. don't even greet or look you in the eye when you try to bring a bit of humanity in this cold place. Polish neighbors dealing stolen laptops, my mom getting death treats by some extremist in the park. People getting stabbed on their way to work at the station. Stores being blown up, a friend getting a pistol shoved in his face for absolutely nothing. Immigrants abusing the welfare system while the elderly not getting the care they need because of a lack of funds. Hooded up aggressive Moroccans spitting at your feet while you come home from a night of drinking. A group of six Africans trying to kill you with a taser. Huge pro-ISIS demonstrations.
And that's just my city.
Over in Amsterdam your living room will get shot up by some 17 year old kids emptying their ak'47 on some other drug gang member and their lawyers.
I'm not letting it me turn as cold yet, but it gets me hopeless the more I think about it.

I sobbed today out of anger. At dinner my gf indirectly told me I’m not good enough for her. She mentioned that her mother asked about me by using my first name for the first time, and then asked her daughter if this was the kind of guy she’d want to introduce to her parents. Then my gf stopped talking, not a word more, and continued eating. My heart dropped. I instantly realized that my gf was ashamed of me, that I would never meet her parents not their expectations. It brought about a terrible feeling in me. Livid, I began ostensibly apologizing to my gf for not being Jewish, for not going to med school, for not making 6 figures, like her previous boyfriends. All she could say to my rant was, “sorry, anon, my parents just want the best for me.” My face and chest burned with emotion. That was all the confirmation I needed. It had been a culmination of things up until that point. For weeks I thought our relationship had grown toxic and wondered if it would last. But that was the moment I knew I had to break up with her, for my sake. Even though I love her, I love myself more and don’t want to hurt again the way I did tonight. I’m happy with my life and don’t want to feel inadequate by my gf’s parents. So what if I work at a process serving company and part-time at a bar? I’m a good person. That’s what should matter. Judge me by my character, not by my wallet. Something also just occurred to me. I met her friend from Harvard this past weekend at brunch. Her friend didn’t ask me what I did for a living. Odd, isn’t it? That’s generally the first thing people ask when meeting someone for the first time. Wonder if my gf told her about my work and not to bring it up in front of me. Perhaps I’m just looking too into this, but still. I don’t deserve this. This isn’t what I wanted. I never thought relationships could be so much work, so painful. I don’t want to be just some toy for her before she goes off to medschool next year. I’m such a fool. I should’ve known this could never be. Classes aren’t meant to mingle.

Do I need a flashy Ivy League degree to become a great writer?