/lit/ - Literature

>>16339174
At least boys have the dignity of not reading at all, instead of reading garbage. Women have no such shame. Sad!

>>16242663.
The Shadow over Innsmouth, and Lovecraft in general.

>>16003568


>With half a [slice of] bread in her mouth, Mikoto left her house in hurry [...]
Slice of bread* -- "half a bread" makes me think she has half of a loaf of bread. Also in the next sentence it's "reserved strict punishment[s]".

>Mikoto recognised her, it was her senior, the 3rd year student, Hozake Junko. Her appearance may lead other to believe that she is a high-class lady who looks down upon others, but the reality coudn’t be further from the truth. A kind and gentle soul, Hozake is often referred by many as the sweetest girl in Tokiwadae.

>I’m late for [practice] [...] she has her morning [practise] too
You should choose between American English and British English, and consistently use one. Of the two, AmE is the more universal choice, due to their cultural hegemony. For the main differences, see: http://www.thewriter.com/what-we-think/style-guide/british-vs-american-english/

Make sure the punctuation is consistent. For the rules on punctuation, see here:
https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/quotation-marks.html
The main difference is that AmE favors commas and periods inside quotation marks.
>[...] I’ll talk to you later”,
becomes
>[...] I’ll talk to you later,”
You used it correctly here:
“Mikoto, I’ve meaning to talk to you about something.”

Remember to use periods only if you want to start a new sentence after the quotation mark, or at the end of the paragraph. Here you should replace that period with a comma, and take out the comma outside.
>[...] just some problems with the clock on my phone.”, she said with a smile on her face.

Put a space after ellipses, and always use three dots. You can put a space between the dots too, if you want some more breathing room.
>“It’s...uuhh..I don’t know how to say this...uhh..”
>“It’s... uuhh... I don’t know how to say this... uhh...”
>“It’s. . . uuhh. . . I don’t know how to say this. . . uhh. . .”
There's also a specific, single character for ellipses: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis

>Mikoto rushed past Hozake in a flash and was well [past her hearing range] [until] [she] called out to her.
The pronouns get a bit ambiguous here. You can either change that "she" to something like "the other student". "Hearing range" is too technical, the word you're looking for is "out of earshot".
Also, it should be "when", not "until".
>[...] why is she walking so leisurely[?]”[.]
Needs a question mark, remove the period.
>the time on her phone was [messed up], it was 15 minutes [further].
"Messed up" means "disorderly", I'd use "wrong". Also, use "ahead" for the time. Clocks that show the wrong time are "behind/ahead" or "slow/fast".

>“That bitch!” was basically the expression you could make out of her face.
For a second I thought Mikoto was talking about Junko, usually "bitch" is reserved for people. It'd be better to show us her reaction, instead of telling us her thoughts:
>She scowled at the phone, and had to restrain herself from throwing it at the floor.