/lit/ - Literature

>>20470441
cont.

I had friends who cared about me, or they were at least concerned for me, but I don't think I was ever really fun to hangout with. I think my friends either kept me around because they felt bad for me or they kept me around because they would have no friends if it weren't for me. I was one of the poorer kids at my school, and my friends could probably tell because I could never keep up with the new video games and consoles and I never got my own car. I would often be the last person to get invited to my friends' birthday parties, and I was usually there in place of someone else who couldn't come. I wouldn't get invited over their house to play as much because I lived further away from everyone else in the poor part of town, and even when they did invite me my parents were both at work so I had no way of getting to their house. So I never hung out much with anyone, and that further stunted my social skills.

So this makes me wonder, how much of my situation is my fault? My circumstances isolated me. But as a kid, how much accountability do I have when it comes to keeping myself off the internet and going outside to get social skills and doing my homework and teaching myself how to look good? I certainly have the accountability to make up for that stuff now, and I'm trying, but did I gimp myself as a kid or was it out of my control? Did other kids who were poor and had shitty parents get the memo? It seemed like some of the other poor kids at my school had lots of friends and girlfriends and could look good, but they also failed classes without their parents to properly motivate them. It just enrages and depresses me. There was a possibility to get my shit together as a kid, and I regret not doing that, but at the same time I was a kid. Can you really expect a kid to teach themselves study habits, social skills, hygiene, how to get a job, how to get a girlfriend, and all that even in the age of the internet? Was I supposed to do that? If so, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. But if my circumstances are what screwed me over, I don't think I'll ever stop cursing the world.

Books about missing out on teenage love?

>>18616938
Same.
Same...

>>18529997
does anyone have a link to her original thread please

>>17847686
Hey bro, I'm was in a similar situation
It sucks for a few weeks, but after awhile you only need to go into court every now and then. Nothing ever happens.
It's actually pretty relaxing once you get used to it. Nothing matters anymore because it's all out of your hands. I'm having wild sex with my lawyer's maid, I can see the cops who arrested me whipped any time I want. I've even stopped paying my rent because what are they going to do? Double arrest me?
Nah, bro. It's all out of your hands. Have fun while you can and enjoy the ride.
>protip: stop paying your lawyer fees. Dude's useless, just keeping stringing him along.

I've made a horrible mistake with my novel and I hate myself. My goal was to write a very simple hero's journey story modeled on something like the original Star Wars. Character has his home destroyed and cannot return until he becomes a big boy and destroys the baddies. Very simple story with one main character, some sidekicks, and an interesting villain. No tryhard politics bullshit.
But a part of me also wanted it to be epic in scale and have more than one character. And somehow now I've ended up writing a story where my own character feels like a boring side character that's basically being carried by the waves made by much more powerful actors. Oh my god, I even have segments of people debating politics.
I literally fucking HATE this about other novels so much. I hate it when you start with one character but then the author kinda forgets to develop them and adds more interesting ones but leaves the main character the way they are because they are either too lazy or he's a self-insert anyway that you have to follow along because it's the author's own dream of what will happen to him.
I wrote the very thing I swore to destroy.
But now I will destroy it.
Thank you for reading.

>I have depression and can't focus enough to read more than ~2 pages of a book at a time

>>12935171
How do you deal with the acceptance of your mediocraty; is this even an issue for you, or are you solely unsatisifed with you not being unique, uniquely talented?
I worry about this greatly but I haven't gotten hard proof of what I already know: That I am mediocre. Nothing I am or will do is noteworthy.
>the fear of a failed suicide
(most likely a girl, but still:) jsut lay your neck on some tracks

>My thoughts then turned to where I would take my life. My family would have to rely on my inheritance after my death: a meagre property that would amount to only one hundred tsubo of land, my house, the rights to my work, and my savings of two thousand yen. I was anxious about my house becoming unmarketable because of my suicide, and accordingly felt a sense of envy towards the bourgeois who had even a single country house. You might find my saying such a thing quite ridiculous. But when thinking of these matters, one in reality feels a deep sense of awkwardness. It is an unavoidable awkwardness. I wanted make every effort to kill myself in such a way that no one outside my family would see my corpse.

I've squandered everything.