/lit/ - Literature

>>13351365
An obesefat, 500 pound squatting, fat-acceptance supporting professor who ate several bowls of oats a day was teaching a class on low-bar squatting.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees, drink a gallon of milk, and worship Mark Rippetoe and accept that he is the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Scooby!”

At this moment, a brave, aesthetic, 8 inch cock wielding amateur bodybuilder who does a 3-day split and understands that girls only look for big arms and a six pack stood up and took off his shirt.

“How do you think I got this lean?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite costanza-ly and smugly replied “Because you have good genes and you roid, you ottermode faggot”

“Wrong. I’ve been eating 500 calories under my maintenace for 2 months. But if weight is as you say, because of your genes…why do you eat so much and do no cardio?”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and a copy of Starting strength. He stormed out of the class crying those sweaty adipose crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all did curls that day and accepted zyzz as their lord and savior. Girls walked into the room and all took off their bras and poledanced on a barbell. Skateboard squats were performed several times, and Frank yang himself showed up and snorted creatine.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of a cardiac arrest from being obese and was tossed into the lake of fire to run on a treadmill for all eternity.

>>5069292
Bede was actually a really bad historian by modern standards.

There was an Irish monk called Columbanus who basically converted the entirety of central Europe and Bede only mentions him in passing because he believed in a different Easter computus.

>>4524335
Of course he does.

Hunter S. Thompson - Hell's Angels

fantastic piece of journalism.

>>2339970

>>2300864
clearly you aren't doing your readings either

>>2219132
Sounds like a plan.

>>1773139
That picture fits you. Only people with white beards are old enough to think 2e is good.

>>1484313
>Implying I'm throwing around buzzwords needlessly

Notice I didn't say hipster. However, "elitist and pretentious" apply to a good portion of /lit/. You included, judging from your extremely hostile response to my accusation.