/lit/ - Literature

>>18651707
Would love to hear some criticism.
This is from the perspective of an autistic guy writing about his memory of an old girlfriend, his first love. Trying to capture the kaleidoscopic way in which we relate to memories, rather than the memories themselves. People in this world love dairy, hence the dairy restaurant. Brutal criticism welcome, as long as their is substance behind it.
BTW I am well aware that this section balances a fine line upon sounding cringe and full of shit.

>>18654559
Fuck it, I am drunk and interested in hearing thoughts from anyone here.
Pic related is a segment from a chapter where the main character is writing a diary of his memory of his first girlfriend. It is a bit strange. I try to capture the kaleidoscopic way in which one relates to their memories, rather than trying to capture the memory itself. FYI for context the people in this story are obsessed with dairy, hence the dairy restaurant.