/lit/ - Literature

>>18090878
To clarify. We bonded over old Fall Out Boy. Everything up to "Believers Never Die"
> T's friend thinks I'm hot (I am, I had a crazy workout routine in college. Still pretty /fit/ now, but it doesn't matter as much to me)
>T's friend showers me with affection and attention with zero deviation
>In hindsight, T had given up at this point. She brought her friend because she was likely scared that things wouldn't go well and her friend was doing way way more to win me over.
>I interpret T's withdrawal to mean she just brought her friend for her friend's sake
>Feel betrayed and afraid, but still too scared to seal the deal, even with this 100% "please fuck me" situation
>We go out to the bars and I get hammered because fuck this life
>T's friend comes out from the bathroom and grabs me into a makeout session in the bar
>We all go back to the apartment, I have sex with T's friend
And that was the end of it.
>The next day T was just looking to leave as quickly as possible.
>Things were incredibly awkward the entire time, so I rushed them out too
>Tried to approach T a few months later, with no results
Months pass after that
>Get addicted to porn because I have no companionship in my life
>Become a slob at home because I live alone
>Still workout because I always do but now its just the thing I do that isn't work
>Still read because I like to tell myself I'm smart
Everything is empty.
>Start listening to a podcast about roman history since I never really learned about it in school
>Think Julius Caesar did plenty wrong, but was legitimately impressed by his military achievements, and rebellion against a rotten republic
>Podcast mentions he wrote a book
>Read the book and my hair is blown back
>he had his shit so fucking together to the point that he just jumped into things because he knew he was smarter and more organized than everyone else
>realize what an abject slob I am, and do almost nothing to fix it, but the seed is planted.
(to be cont. to bring you to the present date and the morals I've accrued so far from this experience)