/lit/ - Literature

Ok, bros, my depression is getting stronger, does anyone know a chart or books recommendation for bloomer literature? Need some bright reads, help me bros!

>be me
>had lots of free time yesterday evening but still wasted time until after 1 am
>slept for less than 8 hours
>started work
>worked
>some cringy zoom calls ensued but I got through it
>lunch time
>no junk food available; morale was at a low; surely a binge would be justifiable if I start working hard on stuff? Maybe this "no junk food" rule would be best replaced by no rules
>finish work
>feel tired, decide to lie in bed and browse internet on phone
>decide to rest my eyes for 30 minutes; alarm wakes me up; repeat this process about 3 more times
>waste a few more hours on mindless internet browsing
>jogging has been skipped

I haven't had junk food since Sunday afternoon. What is the unhealthiest thing I can eat without being unhealthy?

I browsed LinkedIn and felt sad at seeing so many people my age in banking who make £100k more than me and who will earn a lot more. But I looked at the profiles of some people in a similar job to the one I thought about applying for and I can see the advantages of my one.

I'm reading a gentle introduction to unqualified reservations.

>be me
>drank coffee last night
>wasted time online
>felt so fat in evening; weighed myself at night
>decided to stop eating junk food until I weigh around 30 lbs less
>slept
>woke up an hour before work
>browsed internet on phone in bed instead of sleeping
>had a shit; weighed myself and I was 5 lbs lighter than last night
>started work
>worked
>had lunch
>finished lunch
>worked
>finished work
>realised it was too cold to go jogging
>ate some food, drank coffee, read the latest moldbugkino
>haven't had junk food since yesterday afternoon
>retired to bed before 9
>plan to read for a few hours and then sleep

I forgot to mention in one of my weekend posts that I went for a large supermarket shop on Friday evening, similar to that really comfy and cold night a few weeks earlier. But, as always, the second time was a pale imitation of the first time. Less comfy, less stuff to buy, warmer outside, not as bright inside, an all round less memorable time.

I watched videos of Vitalik this morning and felt so inferior. After work I felt like I had no vitality and no hope of doing anything productive. You know that dream where you punch something and your hand slows down as it gets nearer? That's kind of how I see everything while I'm awake. I wonder what life would be like if I started doing productive stuff.

I'm getting demoralised at work because my job is so pointless. There is so little to do. And my manager is in on the charade and only gives me positive feedback.

On multiple occasions in my life, some old normie guy asks me what I want to do with my working life, and every time I say some variation of "I don't know" and they seem to be at a loss. What would happen if I gave some specific answer?

>be me
>yesterday, late afternoon
>went for a drive, coffee, browsing internet on phone
>browsed internet at home
>was past 9 pm so I skipped jogging
>watched the plot against the president and ate a lot of popcorn
>went to sleep
>woke up
>browsed internet on phone in bed
>browsed internet on laptop
>went for Sunday walk (only around half as long as normal)
>went jogging
>ate normal food; ate chocolate and crisps and I have no junk food left
>browsed internet until now
>will drive around, drink coffee, browse internet on phone
>will then either play vidya or read

Currently feeling the Sunday evening blues. There is very little work to do currently at my job.

I saw an interesting job to apply for but I worry about leaving my low risk faceless bigcorp job. The state of having my employment determined by personal relationships with normies seems so cucked.

>be me
>finish a low work week on Friday evening
>go for a short jog
>spend rest of evening wasting time online, drinking coffee
>sleep at 2 am (got in to bed at 11 am, said I'd browse the internet for a bit on my phone)
>woke up at 9 am on saturday
>browse internet on phone in bed
>watch abroad in japan youtube channel and learned about programme where you can go and teach english in japan for a year
>feel sad at not being the type of person to ever go backpacking or travelling or minimalist travelling
>haven't been outside of UK for 4 years
>go for a short walk in the park immediately, while there's daylight
>listen to cum town
>payday was here
>paying bills, putting money in savings accounts / investments felt kino
>finally (after 6 months of procrastination) put money in to crypto; buying it in the park, from an app, felt kino
>get back home, read book, eat, read the latest moldbugkino
>saving my binge for tonight

This is the stark level of patheticness and delusion a loser can have. I feel kino holding crypto after buying it now and immediately seeing it go down by 6 %. And someone who bought it years ago is a millionaire. I'm not sad at this. I'm just rationally pointing out my delusion.

The episode of Cum Town was really heavy in wallowing in the 90s kid nostalgia. They talked about ball pits.

Being outside in the morning on a Saturday felt strange. I felt so rich now that I have a few thousand in a few places. I felt like a rich NEET. Did everyone else's casual dress sense totally collapse in the early 2010s? Or is that an early 10s thing that I unconsciously chose to do?

Feeling extra blackpilled due to recent events and recently reading Moldbug's open letter. The recent events and Moldbug felt like the final pieces to knowing how the world works.

>be me
>posted a large whine topic last night
>spent rest of evening mindlessly browsing internet, didn't even play vidya or read a book
>woke up this morning
>browsed internet and drank coffee (to make the big Sunday shit come out before my long weekend walk)
>have the shit
>go for 11 mile walk
>listen to cum town, a rationalist podcast, a podcast with moldbug
>see more Staceys and qts than usual and my loserness hit home
>get back home
>eat food and some junk food
>drive outside, drink coffee, browse 4chan on my phone
>buy binge food for the last binge ever
>got home, currently watching bradywinslol
>had the last ben and jerry's and supermarket sandwiches
>was going to have the remaining chocolate and noodles but decided to have vegetables instead
>not sure if I'll have the remaining part of the binge tomorrow or not
>currently feeling the pre-monday blues

I think I am getting close to convincing myself to doing productive things in my free time. I think tomorrow may be the day.

When my next paycheck comes I plan to buy crypto for the first time since early... 2014. I will hold the good stuff and speculate with shitcoin (stinky linky to start with). I'm n-not a sucker who missed out on the real gains, I'm a sensible value investor. Although the only stock I have bought individually, which was done a few months ago after reading a fluff piece bio of the CEO has since gone up by over 200 % lol. Maybe the YOLO Chad investing style is my true nature. I need to have a steel hand, catch the dead cats, jump off the top of burning peaks, and read the tea leaves through a fundamental bottom-up, values driven, long-short-with-sideways-inbetween heuristics. I now see the cash I'm holding in the bank as pathetic dead weight that's only for emergencies.

I can't believe it has been so many months since I've been in an in-person team meeting at work. I'm thinking about how many levels higher I'd be if I had got a job straight out of university and it makes me feel sad. If I could fake normieness I'd be the boss of my boss's boss right now.

>be me
>be me last night
>drink coffee and browse internet for a few hours after work
>posted a pretty good post but it was deleted quickly
>went for my long jog
>went for a walk afterwards, my first evening walk for a long time, which felt good
>bought high carb food
>ate it
>slept
>woke up
>saw the latest moldbugkino had dropped
>started work
>apart from a few meetings that we're almost cringe but weren't, I had almost zero work to do
>had almost no work all week
>continued reading an open letter to open minded progressives (some parts were straight out of pol but dressed up, others were very enlightening)
>finished work
>a bit too low energy to go straight to the laptop; typing this from bed; will rest my eyes for half an hour soon, then browse internet and drink coffee, then go for a short jog, then a walk, then I don't know

Remember when I was living paycheck to paycheck and looking back at those times when I had thousands in the bank and never cared about money? I'm looking back at last summer in a similar way, when I would finish work at 6 and still have time to go for 2+ hour walks in the sun. I'm also remembering some summer days that were so sunny they feel like they're dreams right now.

I watched a video with Jim Simons in it last night and felt subhuman. I think when I was binging on carby food late at night I felt like I'd be able to do productive stuff but that feeling was gone by the morning.

Having money in the bank feels good. I have saved so much due to Covidkino. I can't believe I used to pay money to be in an underground train stuffed with normies. The only thing worse would've been those inter city commuter trains. I remember I would go to a busy station to drink coffee after work sometimes and I'd see mass crowds of normies waiting for trains and seeing them cancelled. That was their daily lives!

>be me
>be me yesterday
>slept 8 hours but was somehow still tired
>started work
>worked
>finished work
>mindlessly browsed internet for 3 hours straight
>felt so demoralised for not having the gumption or energy to start doing anything productive without a wagecuck master bossing me about
>went for a short jog
>went to store to buy food
>bought food, including junk food for two days; realised I can't bear to give up binging
>ate some of it
>felt so fat
>realised I need to go for more walks, in addition to jogging; read that PM says lockdown may last until 2nd of April before even being eased
>go to bed; read open letter to open minded progressives
>sleep more than 8 hours before work
>wake up at 5 am, browse internet on phone in bed a little, saw that the latest moldbugkino had dropped, sleep again, woken up with alarm
>start work
>had lots of free time today
>read news about programmer who works on self driving getting pardoned by the eternal god emperor
>read programmer's wikipedia page; realise what he had done at my age and how subhuman I was for not working on hard technical things (or even anything technical at all)
>finished work
>have been browsing internet for an hour, drinking coffee, will go jogging, then probably some walking, then binging, then, ideally, vidya, reading, sleep

I have this strange worry that if I don't walk enough then my body will become wonky in some way, like a character from the Grubhub advert or a typical american.

There is nothing I really want to read. I have seen the epubs of some books I read in 2020 and I barely remember the content of some of them apart from a few sentences (why liberalism failed, democracy: the god that failed, the age of entitlement).

I am still trying to invent some work for myself to do at work. Things are progressing.

I saw a qt stacey hybrid on a work zoom call. She looked like a slightly less slutty version of that celebrity that is so slutty she is almost a porn star but not quite.

>be me
>played vidya and read a book last night
>woke up at 9.30 am today
>browsed internet on laptop for an hour, drinking coffee while waiting to have a shit before going for a walk
>go for a long walk that's almost 4 hours long
>listen to cum town, richard spencer podcast (i.e., FBI podcast), the absolute state of britain, a normie tier bbc podcast (had to constantly skip over parts because I'm becoming totally bored with normcore)
>eat food (no junk food left), browse internet
>wrote a little bit in my long term diary (desu)
>will go and buy junk food despite feeling fat; either today or an appropriate time in the near future will be my last binge ever

Seeing normies outside and chads and staceys that are 10 years younger than me hit hard. I am a loser and always have been.

I had this memory of a sunny day appear in my head while walking and I realised it was almost 8 years ago. I remember it because it was the day Nadal and Djokovic played in the French open in 2013. I have other random nostalgiacore memories which stuck in my head because of memorable tennis matches on the same day.

I watched the video of moldbug explaining Urbit and I felt so subhuman.

You're not going to believe this but around half of my job provides no value to the company. I am worrying because I have to construct an arbitrary schedule of work to do and pretend it will help. I know they won't say the stuff I'm doing is useless. It will merely be cringeworthy.

>finish work on Friday evening
>had been looking forward to an evening as comfy as the previous Friday
>knew it was a failed hope because there was no large shop to do and it wasn't as cold and I hadn't been working as hard that day
>spent around 3 hours lying in bed, browsing internet on phone
>got out of bed, browsed internet on laptop, went to shop, bought carby food, ate the food, went to bed, read a book, slept at 1 am
>woke up at 6 am
>browsed internet on phone for 1 hour, slept
>woke up at 11 am
>browsed internet on phone for 1 hour
>read a book for a while, went for a joggerino
>ate food, plus all the remaining junk food
>feel so fat, know that giving up junk food will be necessary because the gyms are fucking closed
>read a bit, now browsing internet, will read some more, then play vidya
>savouring the Saturday night no work tomorrow feels

Does anyone else get that "you need to go back to school to re-do your exams" recurring dream?

I am reading moldbug's open letter and it's surprisingly clear and all so blackpilling.

A large part of my job is literally BS makework. It's so embarrassing. I wish I could tell my manager it's pointless but if he disagrees then he won't see me as a "team player". My manager relies on that as a major team function, so it's not like he'll be pleased.

Hopefully I wake up early enough tomorrow to go for a long walk and see daylight.

Feels bad that Murrika is openly a one-party state.

Feels sad that I have never made money on the internet. I don't feel good for not having a tiktok or twitch etc., account. I don't cope. I know it's because of my lack of attractiveness and charisma. I feel jelly of kids who stream to thousands and make money.

I'm 30 now. I remember when I thought I "had time" 6 years ago. How the time flies by and is wasted.

This morning, in bed, on my phone, I watched scenes of the movie The Beach. I don't care if it has a dark twist and is a searing critique blabla, I am sad I have never done that. Every other youth has.

>be me yesterday
>wake up at around 6 am
>browse internet on phone until almost 9 am
>lie in bed, trying to sleep, realise I can't and there's not enough time anyway, get out of bed and start working
>work
>finish work
>go to lie in bed and read chapter of letter to an open-minded progressive before jogging
>realise I'm too tired to go jogging
>decide to rest my eyes at 7 pm
>sleep and wake up at 9.40 pm
>extended daytime napping always feels like time travel in to a time period that I haven't quite adapted to or belong
>skip exercise, go to shop, buy almost healthy food
>eat a lot of normal food while browsing internet; feel fat
>lie in bed, read a chapter of a book, sleep
>be me today
>wake up at 5 am (not GOOD)
>woke up from a believable dream where I woke up at noon and missed my work meetings (dream likely caused by high salt in the food)
>browse internet for almost 2 hours on phone in bed
>sleep for around 2 hours
>start work
>work
>work goes ok overall, despite a few cringey moments; trying to figure out how to tell my manager that half of my assigned duties are worthless (think he knows)
>finish work
>drink coffee, browse internet on laptop
>go jogging
>start jogging for my "long" jog (35 minutes); decide to keep going
>end up jogging for 1 hour straight, the longest I've ever done
>go to store, buy carby food
>eat while browsing internet, don't feel fat
>now typing this
>plan to retire to bed, read the latest moldbugkino, then another book

I'm realising more and more how I will never amount to anything. I am thinking of writing the definitive summary of my pathetic life and drawing a line under it. But I worry that if I sat down to write, I would run out of things to say by page 34 or something. If it was by page 3 then I could tell myself I am some sort of zen minded intellect but I know it would be something very pathetic and dull like page 34.

If Trump had any fucking power as president then people should be terrified that he's invisible now.

>be me
>be me last night (shatpost in late afternoon); the story continued
>went for a drive
>walked for around 30 minutes while listening to cum town
>drank coffee while browsing internet in car
>decided to go to burger king; ate food
>went back home, played vidya, read Houellebecq, slept
>woke up
>browsed internet while drinking coffee to try and trigger the coffee induced shit before going for a long walk
>shit
>go for long 3 to 4 hour walk while listening to Cum Town, podcast with Moldbug guest appearance, other stuff
>ate some food; feel like buying junk food, even though I said that I'd try to lose weight
>plan to go outside for a drive and maybe drinking coffee, then come home to play vidya, read, sleep

As I was typing this the latest Moldbug joint was emailed to me.

Some very sad stuff is happening irl. It's not to me personally and I will have to wait and see what happens.

I am dreading work tomorrow. It's the first time I'll have been working for weeks. The issue is that a large part of my work is genuinely pointless crap that will require me to talk to other people to try and make up pointless work to do. How embarrassing. A cog in a large corporation can't say the words, "this large part of my job is pointless".

Having the burger king meal reminded me of those freedom filled NEET days where I'd binge at burger king on hot summer days and nights. I was free to do anything but I wasted it all as a sad person because ugly people live in a socially inflicted jail.

I missed out on 50 million bitcoin and altcoin moons. At least my wealth went well above poorfag territory because of remote working, so I don't feel a lot of regret. But I am still a wagecuck. Normieclones who live easy lives could make me NEET forever if they wanted to.

>be me
>played vidya last night
>slept
>woke up this morning
>browsed internet on phone in bed
>got out of bed, read book, drank coffee
>went for a joggerino
>had a big shitterino
>ate some fooderino (no junk food binge)
>browsed internet
>went for a drive, drank coffee, browsed internet on phone
>back home
>browsing internet on laptop, will play vidya in a bit

I googled "linkedin hedge fund london" and felt sad at the profiles. And not just the people younger than me. There are so many people making more than I'll ever make.

I randomly came across a video of a guy younger than me talking about a cool looking indie video game he made. Life is over.

I saw a topic about house prices in the UK. Brexit is kino but the lack of housing supply, plus parasites (poor, refugees, old, young, corporations, students, public sector) getting millions in handouts still need to be solved.

Hopefully this 30 hours without junk food can be continued. Maybe only one KFCerino every week or two would be acceptable.

>be me
>have a short Christmas holiday
>spent all the days so far on vidya, internet, some reading (finished two books, started two more)
>played vidya for 5 hours straight last night, may have burnt myself out on that game even though I've almost got 100 % on it
>too fucking cold to go jogging today
>not looking forward to wagecucking after regaining freedom

I said a few days ago I would start that Stephen Mitford Goodson central banking book and it's awful.

The aimlessness of my life is dawning on me. I have been telling myself for literally fucking YEARS that tomorrow will be the day where I'll give up junk food and start working hard on things.

I'm gonna say it: Summer is better than winter. There's no point denying it. Winter in recent years has not given me many kino nostalgia memories. Summer has given me many.

I hate the feeling of leaving books or vidya incomplete but I feel like an easily enslaved person for feeling that feel. I was a good school student and I don't feel smart about it. I feel like I was (and still am, due to laziness) a within the box thinker who could easily work within given structures but never bothered venturing out of things.

Currently feeling sad for being 30 and not being where I should be, career-wise.

Reading books is so consumercucky.

>be me
>woke up
>did chores
>finished reading a midwit non-fiction book
>ate food
>went and bought binge food before the shops close for Christmas day
>had a small binge while browsing the internet
>play a solid 3 hours of vidya
>browse internet on phone in bed
>plan to start a non-fiction book (the Stephen Mitford central banking and enslavement of mankind one)
>will also start another book tomorrow in case someone irl asks me what I'm reading (I cannot remember ever discussing books irl with anyone, despite all of my posts mentioning pseudcred)

I had an epiphany about how wasted my 20s were and how cringeworthy I was at times and how pathetic my life is. And how young people have more meaningful lives and how youth is everything.

I feel sad that my time at university was wasted and I learned nothing.

That feel when I will never work in high finance. I recently had an interview for a graduate level job in that area (despite being 30) and failed. Interviews and the workplace require normieness and looks and fitting in to succeed.

Sometimes all of the above stuff makes me think I should work hard on stuff but then I think about how much work is required to get anywhere and I wonder what the point is.

The vicissitudes of the kali yuga

>be me
>wake up
>read a chapter of a midwit novel
>play vidya
>eat
>play vidya
>will now go driving around, drinking coffee, browsing the internet on my phone, reading the midwit novel on my phone, reading the latest Moldbug joint

Currently feeling sad about my wasted life.

I am pathetic and have achieved nothing. I have never put effort in to anything. I have no passions. I waste all my time. I am charismaless. I am meek. I am beta. I drain the energy from the room.

I feel so inferior to all the go-getters.

I finished a 600 page upper midwit / lower topwit book yesterday but I will forget everything in it and remember only a vague outline. I could have a better effect if I memorised some dates and facts.

I have zero chance of ever getting a gf. The thought of me trying to flirt is excruciatingly cringe.

I thought I was based and redpilled but I was really cringe and bluepilled.

Youth was all I had, and now it's gone.

Where is he? Im in london right now and damn he was right. What a soulless depressing shithole. Such a weird constellation all around. You got coked up bimbos in high heels, junkies, homeless people, cops, security guards all just screaming and shouting in front of tesco and that view and noise is so fucking weird with that british accent.

Every place feels lile its the same. All restaurants, all bars, its all so artificial. Lmao @ putting a 12.5% tip in the bill on their own. Lmao @ 3rd gender toilets.

What is their endgame?

>>17022347

>be me
>wasted entire Saturday evening on mindless internet browsing (thought I'd read for final 3 waking hours before sleeping but just browsed internet)
>woke up
>went for a long 11 mile walkerino
>listened to cum town and other podcasts
>ate food, had binge food
>drank coffee, browsed internet for a few hours
>went to gym
>finished gym, went driving while drinking coffee, browsed internet on phone
>now back home
>browsed internet and will now either play vidya or read a book
>feeling slightly sad that it's not yesterday evening, which is when the weekend usually peaks (friday evening is always totally wasted; sunday has work the next day; saturday evening has had the previous hours of freedom plus sunday as the buffer before work)

Currently lamenting my lack of vitality, looks, charisma, human worth, etc.

>be me
>finish work yesterday
>do chores, have a le coffee
>go to le gymeroonie
>waste time on internet until 2 or 3 am
>sleep
>wake up
>waste time online for around 1.5 hours
>read a non-fiction book for around an hour
>go for a heckin joggerino
>feels good to have got the jog out of the way early in the day, rather than have to go out in the cold evening
>eat food (sadly no junk food in house; may binge later, if my will fails / succeeds (just another day in the life of an unspooked person))
>browse internet until now (5 pm)
>will drive around outside, drinking coffee, browsing internet on phone, reading book on phone
>will spend evening maybe playing vidya or reading (will likely mostly waste time online)

Nothing much to report. I will play a lot of vidya after my christmas holiday starts not this Wednesday but the one after. But surely I'll have the time to start doing productive things as well.

This Christmas won't be as carefree as previous ones, even though I am in a securer position (established in a long-term job) than I have been for a long while, and saving more money than ever each month (plus covid removes many feelings of "missing out"). Something very sad is happening to someone other than me and it's uncertain what the future will be like. Once again I look back at my previous self with envy. How could I have been sad when things were so carefree and I had so much free time?

The psychological feeling of having money in the bank is kino (ignoring the stuff in the paragraph above). I can walk around run down London streets without feeling like a loser.

>be me
>was tired last night and slept at 11 pm
>woke up early
>started work
>did work
>finished work
>wasted time after work and will go to gym tomorrow (first time in a long while)

I'm feeling very sad because of something bad happening to someone I know. This is the first very sad thing to happen in my personal life and it's not good. But I'll have to wait and see what will happen.

I started a pretty good non-fiction book recently.

In a while I'll be at home but not working so I'll have lots of time to waste and play vidya (there are a few I plan on starting).

I still haven't done anything productive in my free time.

>be me
>finish work on friday evening
>woke up on Saturday morning
>read book while drinking coffee
>play vidya
>browsed internet
>didn't go on a long walk this weekend, only a 50 minute one
>finished a novel yesterday (was meh, although it was self-published and unhinged /pol/ dreaming)
>started a non-fiction book yesterday which is long but seems non-boring so far

There is still something very sad happening in my personal life, and I'm not sure whether it will end up being extremely bad or relatively minor. Being comfy isn't possible right now.

I'm becoming bored of the vidya I'm playing.

I really need to give up the binging and junk food. All I have right now is jogging until gyms open. I thought I'd give up yesterday but bought some more.

Winter is a bit crap now that there's no christmas feel and there's lockdown. Summer was better than this. Last Christmas was better than this.

I am becoming very bored of driving around, drinking coffee, and browsing the internet on my phone.

I will go to and lie in bed after posting this and browse the internet on my phone and then read and then sleep.

I still can't bring myself to do anything productive in my free time.