/lit/ - Literature

>>22478784
I may have had a schizo breakdown, but my take is this. I have come to the conclusion that the physical world is a filter. Life is inherently painful and God directly rewards the evil. Because the evil are usually the powerful, but that is not always the case, as the goal of the physical realm is the acquisition of power. Therefore the truly kind and just suffer more and more, which is the point of the exercise. The souls which can withstand the torture of life by detaching, forego the illusion and are able to ascend. That's all well and good, but obviously very few can achieve that. The rest are just cattle. And the cattle need to be protected by the custodians otherwise the extremely wicked souls will just ruin everything. What I struggle with is why would God allow this to come to pass. Why create an oppressive reality that needs custodians to sacrifice their chance of ascending to keep the tards in line in order to keep civilization going, so that the few can detach and ascend? That doesn't seem fair to me. Some have to do the rough work and be damned, while others can just detach.

I know I can easily detach and ascend. But I cannot shake off the feeling of responsibility for the rest of the cattle. I know I can help in keeping a balance and thus I need to lower myself in the physical realm and become akin to the "evil". The physical plane rewards power, but what use is physical power if you have the chance to completely swap boards? But again, I can't just stand idly. If I do I won't do my part and the collapse will come. I feel it in my bones.

I see the signs. I know the test. I'm supposed to ignore the ego and the failures and the pain and keep being pure. But if I do I won't get anywhere, and I will not fulfill my destiny. I am damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Does anyone else have these feelings?