/lit/ - Literature

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WHY I WANT TO FUCK WALDUN

WALDUN AND THE CONCEPTUAL BICYCLE DISASTER. Numerous studies have been conducted upon patients in terminal paresis (GPI), placing Waldun in a series of simulated bicycle crashes, e.g. pileups, head-on collisions, condo attacks (fantasies of pedestrian and elaborate assassinations remained a continuing preoccupation, subject showing a marked polymorphic fixation on handlebars and rear basket assemblies). Powerful erotic fantasies of an anal-sadistic surrounded the image of the literary contender.


Subjects were required to construct the optimum bicycle disaster victim by placing a replica of Waldun’s head on the unretouched photographs of crash fatalities.

In 82% of cases massive rear-end collisions were selected with a preference for expressed fecal matter and rectal hemorrhages. Further tests were conducted to define the optimum model-year bicycle. These indicate that a three year model lapse with child victims provide the maximum audience excitation (confirmed by manufacturers’ studies of the optimum bicycle disaster). It is hoped to construct a rectal modulous of Waldun and the bicycle disaster of maximized audience arousal.

Motion picture studies of Waldun reveal characteristic patterns of facial tones and musculature associated with homoerotic behavior. The continuing tension of buccal sphincters and the recessive tongue role tally with earlier studies of facial rigidity (cf., James Joyce, Nabokov). Slow-motion cine films of YouTube lectures exercised a marked erotic effect upon an audience of spastic children. Even with mature adults the verbal material was found to have a minimal effect, as demonstrated by substitution of an edited tape giving diametrically opposed takes…

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