/lit/ - Literature

>>19951852
I only critiqued page one, but I'm not very impressed by what I'm seeing.

Good essays lay out clear plans of intended attack and signpost what they're doing and why - your essay feels meandering and riddled with phrasing and grammar issues which ruin the impact you could have with your writing. Crucial elements like topic sentences or a thesis statement are completely absent.

More informally, I have no clue, by the end of page one,
>What it is you're arguing,
>How you intend to prove the points you're arguing, and
>What examples you'd like to use to make that case and why you think they're worth bringing up
And this is a massive and unrecoverable structural flaw in your writing style - it's like a house without a foundation.