/lit/ - Literature

>>10965025
Bumping this, please and thank you.

>>10967321
Somehow it feels as if the water metaphors are not enough to carry the weight of the poem so it just doesn't work towards the end. I also think you should play more with French, disregard common writing rules. Mieux revenir is technically the correct way to put it but revenir mieux sounds way better.

>>10968667
There's something about writing poetry about Greek gods in 2018 that just doesn't quite come together.

>>10969523
I've never understood the random enjambments
when they
feel
unnatural
and at the
same time
do not carry
any
meaning to them,
you could
give them meaning
yet in this poem you don't.
But I like it better than most of thread.

>>10976410
There is no need for so many meaningless epithets. The sugar on a Christmas pudding metaphor throws me out. Too descriptive, lacks meaning or depth. It could be way more interesting with less surface-level description and more thought. I like the concept.