/lit/ - Literature

I saw it coming. The hollowness and desolation. I knew I fucked up and couldnt change a thing.

There were so many signs, one after another. I think Sil was the main one. It wasnt meant to be, I can accept that. But now I'm stuck here all alone. Maybe it was for a reason.

Now my only refuge is silence. Where I can detachfrom this sensory stream amd get a glimmer of an idea of whst to do next. I just want to be strong and powerful. I'm tired of wanting anything else.

Every love I couldve had was taken from me, and God knows I wont hope for anything here just to go through that again. The only thing that matters is understanding, going beyond the basic polarity of pleasure-pain, when it all is experience to be grasped and understood.

Past that...I guess I could write more, but I had my thoughts on that too. It's not hard. It's easy. I just hate the demands placed on a writer. I only want to write a work beyond time, not merely conforming to the times.

Maybe I know how to do that already. Guess I'll see.

My final device was to end my life in such a way that my family would not notice before the deed was done. After several months of preparation, I attained a certain confidence that I would be able to do so (I cannot write these details here for the sake of those people who care about me. But even if I did write it here, it is certain that no charge as ludicrous as “aiding and abetting suicide” would ever be created under our law. If this law were applied, how the number of criminals would increase! Even if the
pharmacies, gun shops, and razor sellers claimed that they did not know, as long as our words and
expressions betray our true intentions they would receive some measure of suspicion. Besides, society and the law and such have themselves necessitated this aiding and abetting of suicide. In the end what kind hearts most of these criminals would have!). I carried out these preparations calmly, and now merely entertain myself with the thought of death. My mood before it is for the most part as Mainländer wrote.

>>12396656
1920s Japan was a time of great change. It had only been mere decades since the country had been a pre-industrial society and the perception of being viewed as a non-western barbaric nation was important in the Japanese psyche.