/lit/ - Literature

>>16638804

I think the mistake is thinking that men need to talk about their feelings. Talking about feelings is just one way of processing them, men unfortunately have brought into the notion that harming their emotional well being by not processing their emotions is 'masculine'.

There are men who even advocate men not processing their emotions, and suppressing them, and say that men who do are less masculine.

Men who advocate that IMO are part of the problem, a culture that has; men killing themselves at 3-4 times the rate women do, and making up the majority of alcoholics/drug addicts.

Processing emotions requires expressing them, that can be with someone who is trusted and/or that can be to God or a page. It will require expressing grief, sadness and shame, emotions that will make anyone feel vulnerable. Many men refuse to tolerate any feelings that make them feel vulnerable and try to cover it up with aggression, alcohol, drugs, and work, IME and IMO.

There is nothing effeminate about emotional intelligence, or having a greater emotional capacity to connect with your children. We develop health problems from 'stress' i.e. not taking care of our emotional well being, and we also damage our ability to raise psychologically healthy children if we can't even express with openness that we love our children.

There is no reason to think that a man can't have a high level of emotional intelligence and embody the masculine archetypes found in the book; King, Warrior, Magician, Love By Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette. Like that book talks about, men with trauma/poor emotional intelligence tend to be dysfunctional, abusive or callous men - they become detriments to society.

I've always loved shows and books growing up the depicted warrior archetypes who display a high level of emotional intelligence. E.g. The Contemplative Monks/fighters found in Shaw Brothers Kung Fu Films, who go from having a self centered boy psychology, to having a man psychology that cares about something doing good for others. I never saw those man as effeminate.

In contrast I grew up around men who did see emotional expression as effeminate... I wish I listened/modeled the men in the movies, because it lead me to becoming a phuckin dick, because I was unconsciously looking for catharsis from shame/sadness/grief through psychologically and physically bullying others.

>>16471676

Changing Our Mind By David Gushee

Walking the Bridgeless Canyon: Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the LGBT Community by Kathy Baldock

>>16409771

Beauty By Roger Scruton. Seriously. The part about the difference between Erotic Art and Pornography is very eloquent.

Relevant pic.