/lit/ - Literature

>>22929098
>>22929111
>Ok this part reads really stupid now that I look at it ignore what I wrote
Eh I've barely articulated myself properly because I'm just writing a stream of consciousness. I understand you just fine anon.
>I struggle a lot with blaming family too for being a bad influence
Oh man what an attractive exercise that is. I can see so much of myself in my father. All of his insecurity, impotence, neuroticism, cowardice, anger and neediness. It's so easy to throw my hands and say he did that to me especially given that it's an objective fact that children internalise the behaviour of their parents. I even feel like an asshole for noticing these things in my father. If I was pure in heart then I would not see these things. God would only reveal these things to me if it was necessary to help my dad. But in my raw and corrupt intellect I see these things.
>but the ever present object of hate, considering all the relationships and opportunities I've lost because of my awful behavior just makes it overwhelming
Your notion of ever present object of hate is astute. I sometimes have this strange feeling of hating to live within myself. That wherever I turn, I have myself following me around. They say that the saints do not have a subconscious because there is no duplicity to them. How far removed am I from that.
>I wish I had the pressure of external conditions, like being thrown into the lake to learn how to swim. But writing this reminds me that I can do that myself by signing up for shit
I think my life circumstances have been set up in such a way that this will come to me in one way or another. As it stands, my parents and I headed for a conflict in a few years that will irreparably destroy our relationship. I won't go into what that is right now but I guess I need to be humbled and pushed to my absolute limits somehow. The beginnings of this I think have already arrived and I sometimes sense a strange sense of freefall.
>Though outright considering yourself a sociopath isn't very pleasant to experience, so it'd probably be easier on the mind to do like everyone else and tell yourself that homeless people are just lazy.
Exactly and that's what I was talking about earlier. The issue is I hate lying to myself and externalising my issues will do exactly that notwithstanding the contributory negligence of my circumstances. At the same time, staring at my problems for too long will drive me crazy. "Just don't think about it too much bro" is hardly a solution. Idk man at least I have anons like you to talk about this stuff, normies would just give me fluoride stares

Psalm 51

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2051&version=NIV

More than once the priest has asked me to pray it as penance after Confession, so I've developed a fondness for it because I associate it with God's mercy and forgiveness.

>>22495727
Based

>>21939907
>>21940374
misery does love company

>>21716795
During the Agony in the Garden.

Is it even worth talking about Christianity on /lit/? This is a literature board but Christianity can't be approached divorced from its Divine context and its historical context.

As Ratzinger says, what matters most to Christianity is the person of Jesus, the man who was God, Jesus Christ. Through Jesus' teachings, Christian morality is formed, and Jesus asserts the universal authority and applicability of those teachings through the singular event of the Resurrection. Because Jesus literally rose from the dead, He is able to teach with binding authority and compel Christianity to spread through baptism and preaching, and compel Christians to obey what He asks them to obey.

The man of Jesus Christ, the person of Jesus, is the heart of Christianity, but it's poor subject for a literature board.

>>21537113
This picture makes me think of the times I have thought about the Agony in the Garden and gotten deeply sad. It's a silly thing, but I wish I could have been there to comfort Jesus. I know He was comforted by the angels, and that it all turns out all right in the end. But the idea of Him facing such distress, and such fear of death, all alone fills me with profound sorrow and longing. And the Apostles unable to stay awake on top of it all.

I find myself filled with a great love towards Jesus, and a desire to be the one to sit up with Him as He expressed. To be the one that doesn't fail Him, in the end. To be the one that stays awake and helps Him forget his grief at least for a little while.

This may be why of all the Apostles I most admire John, who at least followed Jesus all the way to the cross. At least one of them was faithful to the end. The urge to follow Jesus all the way to the end is very powerful for me. Yet I'm continually weak, and continually sin even when I know I shouldn't. I suppose I need Him as much as I think He needs me.

>>21382909
People talking about Jesus "debasing" himself by becoming a man and being willing to die seem to miss all the times he declares that human pride and human conceptions of grandeur mean nothing to God, and the proper attitude someone should have is Christ's own attitude: that they be "meek and humble of heart." God clearly has nothing to prove; He has no power or grandeur to prove. Rather, He comes down to a lowly state to remind us that anything grand or magnificent we achieve in this life is fleeting, and comes to nothing in the end.

That's the thrust of Jesus' entire mission, and why His death opens the way to eternal life for humans. It's in keeping with the spirit of Ecclesiastes, which /lit/ loves so much. "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." Everything in this world and that exists in history is fleeting, even the things that are grand and beautiful. So Christ teaches us not to trust them, to put our hope in what is eternal. That's why, though Christ hoped not to die, God ultimately strengthened His spirit and gave Him the strength to die; because "he who saves his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will save it." The lowliness and death of Christ serve, at least in part, to remind us of what is truly important, in the span of eternity.