/lit/ - Literature

she just wants to be friends (well, she worded it like 'i really like being friends with you though', which is kinda better) because since starting uni she's focussed on learning how to cope alone, because she had a bad exploitative experience with a boyfriend she was once emotionally dependent on.

i thought a lot about her use of the word 'alone' rather than 'single'.

i dont want to just be friends, because since coming to uni ive put so so much effort into learning how to not be alone, how to cope with outputting feelings to and being reliant on others, how to ask for help, how to approach someone socially with no pretense but wanting company, etc.

so, i feel like we have inverted personality development arcs, and that that's really interesting. i want to help her learn to deal with loneliness, because that's something im adept at.

i desperately want to talk with her about this but feel like it's too deep and maybe anti-social to bring up, especially after getting rejected. idk. we have a huge number of mutual friends so it's really not possible to avoid talking to her again anyway.


lie under a simple sun
cast an arc of absent fun
wreaths and rotas come undone
give your sunburnt love to none

my nose is blocked
my mouth is snide
i dont know if
we are alive

i feel your face
i feel its pride
i know you care
deeply inside

laminated by this glare
light smears round my sight to where
eyes glint green and lies are air
in your simple sun i'll stare

i don't know what i am
i don't know what i do
i don't know who you are
nor what i am, to you

a need for contact
(long showers are symptomatic)
based on sidewise glances
and screenstuck static

what i say to you
and what you say to me
needn't affect what we feel
nor what we are, to we

let's rub shoulder to shoulder
and look eye to eye
please come to me soon
i'll wait and writhe