/lit/ - Literature

I'm very new to writing poetry, but I wanted to try my hand. Any feedback would be great!

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I hide behind my words.
They are my impenetrable fortress of solitude
But there’s nothing super about me,
Nothing super about someone who is made
Of what other people want to see.
I spin a web of lies to feel some kind of normality,
But a small vibration brings it all crashing down.
But I can’t help it.
When I try to open myself to the world, I’m buried.
I’m lost in the lives of those around me,
Who would rather see themselves reflected back
Than who I really am.
I understand. I get it.

If they knew how much they mean to me,
How much it hurts when I’m forgotten,
Shoved under the bed like a childhood toy.
I like to believe they care, but who actually gives a damn?
Why would anyone care who or what I am?
Why is it so hard to just say the things on my mind
And to tell you the truth, but who I’m really lying to is me.
I am a mixing pot of ideas and personalities,
Molded into an ideology of who I want to be,
But I’m dying.

I’m so tired. Not tired of the classes and the responsibility,
But I’m tired of trying to impress everyone else
And not even impressing myself.
Through transformations, I have lost myself
And even though I’m sifting through the rubble of my life
Trying to find who I am,
My face in the mirror keeps changing.
Don’t try to find me. You won’t succeed.
How can you when I’m even lost to myself?
I’m just waiting to be found again, like a childhood toy.