/lit/ - Literature

>>19439084

Obvious disclaimer: I'm not a therapist or psychiatrist.

>I want in this life is freedom from existential dread?

That is the bare bones of what I and everybody else wants in life, just without the extra flourish (fireplace, garden etc).
Here is how I broke it down for myself, long before I got a more precise idea of what I actually want in life:

1. What is existential dread?
For me, it's the fear that my entire life is a sand castle build on a beach. No matter how nice the afternoon sun is right now, the sun will inevitably go down and the tide will rise. If I want a safe castle, I better start building elsewhere and for real this time, because sunset is literally on the horizon and I'm afraid of getting old without having built a safe and dry castle for my future.

That is existential dread to me; to know that you're not out of the woods yet and not knowing WHEN or IF you ever will be.

2. How do I make the existential dread go away?
I make it go away by removing the circumstances that prevent me from building my safe castle.
That means, getting rid of financial instability and behaviours that endanger my financial well being. I need money for my castle and I need to not lose it.

3. How do I make money for my castle and not lose it?
I personally set my sights on a stable government job that would also be interesting and diverse enough to not become tedious or boring. Then I got in shape, worked somewhat hard to succeed and got the job. That way, I can make enough money to live a decent life right now and save up enough for later.


Mind you, I'm just a cop, not an investment banker or any other kind of super successful "play hard, party hard" money maker that makes millions by the time they're 40.

Ask yourself what you're actually afraid of when you focus on the existential dread that is always there in the back of your mind (at least it was for me, always lurking and low key poisoning the good moments I had in life for most of the time).
Then articulate what you're adraif of (my bet is it's gotta do with becoming homeless or something similar) and then plan on how to avoid that.
Act accordingly.