/lit/ - Literature

Feedback on this appreciated!


>>20811986
It seems stilted to me - quite a chore to read.

I can't tell if this is an intentional choice to give voice to your character, but they say 'sitting alone in a tiny room by myself' - which is repeating the same thing twice.

Also the sentence 'I can't remember the last time I had actually taken a holiday anywhere while all I did was work.' makes it sound like they can't remember going on a holiday where all they did was work, as in work whilst on the holiday, which I assume isn't what you intended.