/lit/ - Literature

>playing a vidya in the holiday (right now)
>don't have work tomorrow
>suddenly having flashbacks to over 10 years ago, when I was a teenager playing PS2 and PS3 games
>remember two feelings in particular: long,aimless, friendless summers where I played videogames that felt particularly sterile in their colour palettes, menus, music
>remember one PS2 game in particular that combined its sterile look with its music and overall tone to create a nostalgic memory of me playing the game and a nostalgia for an imagined youth I never had (being in a kawaii / preppy looking school and having a fun school life)
>my memories of my life 8+ years ago make me feel like I lived a sterile life where nothing was possible (what I did was waste my free time and feel really sad)

I remember in particular the smell of the toilet paper in a new, modern building. It smelt like it was coated in some sort of dust. I remember some parts of the building had exposed concrete even after it opened, which was a stylistic choice.

I remember many years ago, I would go to the university in the evening to read in a random building and one time I went there during winter and it was cold and dark in the evening but in a way without any moisture due to recent rain. It felt like being in a glossy digital movie.

I remember watching Drive in the cinema and then reading the novel on my kindle in a university building one evening and it was a dark night outside.

I remember finishing the final exam of a university year and realising I had a really long summer holiday to come. The weather was slightly warm, slightly cloudy, very neutral and bland. I remember I had had a crush on a girl (I wasn't even r9k pilled yet!!!) I sometimes saw in the course of the final exam and I never saw here again or had talked to her at all in the first place.

I remember going through my extreme procrastination phase towards the end of my time there and walking past this crowd of extremely happy, costumed, treasure hunting (or something) Chads and Staceys.

What are some books about totally having wasted your 20s?

What are some books about not even being to remember what you did during a few years, outside of work or university, because it was all wasted?

What are some books about having no motivation to do anything producerbullish outside of work?

What are some books about being too ugly and charismaless to have good times?

What are some books, kinos, wallpapers, or monastic chants about reading Bret Easton Ellis novels and wishing life was cool like that (similarly for late 90s / early 00s pop/punk videos)?

What are some books about living in a locked down society and life not even being affected much?

>be me
>have been at my parents' house for almost a week during Christmas holidays
>found out there was a PS4, which I've been playing on for hours on end
>finished the boring pseudy long book, which was almost 1000 pages
>been to the gym but, unlike London, there are only a few minor gymthots each time
>holiday has been spent reading, playing vidya, exercising, wasting time online, and a bit of movie watching and seeing parts of my hometown

I forgot how incredibly immersive videogames are. I effortlessly spend hours at a time on the PS4. I don't feel guilty about wasting time because I won't take it with me to London.

I went to one of my city's main libraries and read an entire book there but it felt kind of pathetic. At one point I was the only person on one of the floors, reading a book at 4 pm as it was pitch black outside. I knew that being in a library when LibGen exists is a pretentious and contrived act but there was no one to even be contrived in front of. I hadn't seen anyone in my town that I had known in the past and it felt like a true "life has moved on" moment. I went to the cinema once and want to go again but there is nothing good there. I went through a few puny shopping centres and it felt kind of pointless. Is having coffee in coffee shops contrived and affected or is it acceptable?

I am seeing when sunset takes place in the coming months and I am amazed that it can appear after 6 pm. I have the urge to save money and do stuff so that I have a pressure free summer.

Christmas feels less Christmasy every year. I thought I'd spend my holiday driving aimlessly around everywhere but I have decided to save my money.

I am currently feeling sad about not being a millionaire. My current sleep pattern is 3 am to 11 am but it's amazing how flawless and effortless my sleep is compared to my London flat.

Fuck, I hate the corporate office environment so much. I honestly shitposted about it for years before I went in, and all my theorising was true.

Firstly, there is very little work to do. If you had your own office this wouldn't be so bad. But open plan offices mean that you are always watched, which means you can't browse the internet or waste time productively. The open plan office is dehumanising because there is non-stop noise, seemingly just the right amount to not be easily ignorable, because co-workers who are relevant to you have conversations. It feels like losing 20 IQ points while being assimilated in to a hivemind.

After the freedom of university, I feel like a prisoner for having to be at a desk from 9 to 5.30. Literally a prisoner chained to his desk. 8.5 hours of anything is insane. If I had the autism necessary to do that without distress, I may as well have learnt programming. University was freedom and work is prison. I will never respect people who denigrate university because they would rather work. They are ignorant. I hated my degree but intellectual work never left me with that tired hangover feeling that work leaves me with. On the plus side, NOT having that feeling would probably signify something much worse.

My work is braindead but I know this isn't the same for everyone, like programmers etc. As soon as I went in to the office environment, I suddenly regretted not specialising in something like programming, law, engineering, design etc. I am an interchangeable cog without the social skills to move jobs easily. In terms of non-technical office monkeying, being a lawyer is the pinnacle, really. The law is swallowing up everything.

The worst part is, obviously, the people. If you are not a normie who affects normieness, you are doomed in the workplace. This is hugely aggravated by the presence of women in the workplace. Despite browsing /pol/ for years and seeing them complain about this, I didn't believe them, despite being redpilled. I considered myself a rational person who agreed with /pol/ when they used reason, and surely women were pretty much equal in behaviour when in everyday environments?

>tfw my wifes son threw my copy of infinite jest on top of the fridge and I can't reach it

>tfw sad and lonely
>tfw no gf
books for these feels?

>tfw you can't focus on reading your book because your gf keeps trying to seduce you
What books can I recommend my gf to lower her libido and give me more time to read?