/lit/ - Literature

I wonder if there is anything I truly want for me. right view, perhaps, a way of looking at things that seems sustainable. not to be worked to the bone. I want to feel like I can do this. I think both of the above are achievable but I don't really believe I can do it. Does that matter? Doesn't that just fall under right view? All the days are gonna come all the same, and you rest at the end. I wonder how I'd really handle if everything went to shit and I NEETED up a decade. I could have enough money left to buy a small apartment in Goa and live a couple decades more. This seems like a cunt move to me, I'm healthy enough to contribute something, just dropping off seems selfish. I could probably move to Vietnam right now and never work another day in my life. I don't want to be a monk, I don't think it's gonna work for me to defer all authority. I thought it would for a long time but I don't think so now. Monk is always the last backup plan, but I'm not sure you can do it without sincerity. College starts again monday. I'm not ready. It seems impossibly unlikely that anything good will happen here, but that too is a point of view, will pass.

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