/lit/ - Literature

> had had

> in bookstore, Waterstones
> start browsing the poetry section, see The Iliad and The Odyssey
> keep hold of a fart inbetween my butt cheeks because i'm in public and only filthy people fart in public
> laugh to myself because they're bad translations
> decide to place them in the history section for a giggle
> see a qt grill in the history section
> she smiles at me
> instantly think of her vagina
> oh shit there's a vagina near me
> maybe i can fuck her if we hit it off
> i start to sweat a little bit
> she turns back to me again, about to ask what books i'm interested in
> i open my mouth and grin
> she sees my dead tooth
> the smell of fart leaves my mouth, i can almost taste it
> she winces
> she walks away
> i shout "HELLO HOW ARE YOU TODAY???"
> female staff member tells me to leave
> she touches my shoulder to shoo me out
> finally stop unclenching my buttcheeks
> another vagina holy shit
> I begin to let loose a fart
> it's louder than i thought
> oh shit my pants are a bit heavier
> chunks of poop start falling down my trouser leg
> I run away, out of the store, while taking a copy of Les Miserables off the shelves
> alarm is set off
> trail of shit follows me down the street

I'm not proud to say it but I'd do it all over again than actually pay £10 for a book.

>>9923303
> Eclipse in Burgerfat is so uncommon they call it the Great Burgerfat Katy Perry Game Of Thrones Donald Trump Eclipse
> it's so uncommon that Americans now think it was the second coming of Jesus

What books should I read if I liked this?