/lit/ - Literature

i’m so emotionally starved, i need to be in a relationship so i can have healthy goals/have someone i respect tell me what to do but every kind of human contact that isn’t extreme makes me scared because i feel like i’m just waiting for the extreme part to start. it was nice being with riley even if she was taking advantage of me. it made me feel normal/comfortable. in a lot of ways she was similar to my abusive ex but she would hold back cause she was working on being a better person.

https://youtu.be/qggxTtnKTMo

i was playing this song and my mom came into my room saying “that’s the theme to love story!” it’s her favorite movie. i was wearing my dad’s nike jacket. she said us kids were the best thing she and my dad did, even if there was so much turmoil.

i feel good about my decision to drop out of school and move to nyc, school has always been a burden for me because i tend to have these exaggerated superego and transference issues. i’ve never handled any kind of responsibility well because i never saw the point if my body’s just gonna become rot. if you’re gonna die “eventually” what’s the difference between dying in 50 years and dying tomorrow? idk the point is that we have each other and we can increase the creativity that goes on in this world. i miss riley. i miss alli. i miss kate.

>given a set of organs with just enough perceptive ability to understand how flawed its system of retaining knowledge is in a world that is a microcosm of these organs, filled with mortals who desire to outsmart my perceptions in order to temporarily feel better about themselves

okay, i guess