/lit/ - Literature

i sometimes wish i could just rid myself of my emotions and view myself in third person with a kind of apathetic confidence so my overbearing self-consciousness wouldn't get in the way of my daily social interactions. i also wish i wasn't so awkward and disingenuous and that i could have the courage to ask out that girl who goes to the same mass as me each week who shares most of my hobbies and interests. but most of all i long for genuine human connection and for friends who completely understand me. i also have this weird insecurity where people talk to me and are kind and polite to me, but i feel that they are mocking me in some way. and when i open up to people, i realise i don't like having my flaws exposed to judgement so i retreat back into a reserved-polite state. i don't even know why i'm sharing this here. i must just have nothing better to do. i don't even know why i feel so depressed but i suspect it comes from my feelings of green envy towards others with their rich social lives, while i just work and study until i might one day reach a point where all potential of this kind of life is taken from me, and when i have nothing to do but wait for my impending death.

Hello friends, just got done spending all my leisure time reading and now realising I don't have many friends. Recommend me some books about not being completely socially inept. Bonus points if it will help fulfil my Machiavellian power fantasies.

What is the most patrician font for handwriting? I want to relearn cursive because my penmanship is terrible.
>pic unrelated