/lit/ - Literature

>>11892877
From the time I was seven years old until I broke free from a cycle of neglect after high school, I was this awful little creature who was forced into continuous withdrawal, because my parents stuffed me full of psychiatric drugs for reasons that nether I nor they will never understand. They feel guilty whenever they see me now, and I am incapable of looking at them with love in my heart.

The drugs ruined my hearing, gave me chronic muscle pains, and did some awful things to my reproductive system but once I recovered from their abuse I ran to the Rocky Mountains to find healing in nature. I met people out there who taught me how to build a shelter, to hunt, to navigate and find water. More than that they taught me how to reclaim control over my own life, because a mountain or a forest does not care who you are, and they will kill you without a single thought or hint of dishonesty and for that they deserve to be loved.

I guide mountaineering expeditions for a living. I do this with young people who were like me because I remember what the guides before me had helped me find. Some of them are gone now, dead on a mountain somewhere, so I’m trying to continue their work. Sometime I find my own students asking me the same questions that I once asked my own mentors, things that onky They are capable of answering themselves.

I’m back at college now and I’m finding it impossible to connect with people. I have this massive history, this unknown world weighing me down, and I find myself a part of something beautiful that nobody here at this institution is capable of understanding. I am afraid that if I try to share it, that I will scare whoever is willing to listen to my stories about the real world.

I am 23 years old, and I don’t know what do do with myself now that I’m away from the mountains. It is the only place on earth where I feel that I can be my authentic self, and where I am actually able to be useful to somebody else. I need to go back and reclaim the meaningfulife life that I have allowed to escape me, and I am determined to do so.

https://youtu.be/nVzj-5_FtJg