/lit/ - Literature

>>7378657
>>7378660
>>7378664
you seem cool but this is bad writing the trip report parts fulfil their purpose and would make for exemplary erowid accounts with more details and the other stuff trimmed but little to recommend it as prose, not enough to chew on. the "experimental" parts seem tacked on to an otherwise cohesive story and these consist mostly of death grips lyrics...? ur strength is in the point by point description of your drug experience and the social nuances surrounding it :o

>>7378468
first sentence is nothing, recommend discarding it entirely.. second: pure gold, flows like honey. funny and moving, really good

>>7377718
>the groaning threat of the tidal illness
nice

>>7377801
"crazy"

>>7377695
this is for babies

>>7377702
really good. would suggest removing "on the" after "gypsy shack"...removing "way out".... removing "the" before "poorly indian" and "of" or "an" before "artificial candle"
- the first few lines are hot fire, keep up on it

>>7214857
somebody get this hothead outta here