/lit/ - Literature

Started Brothers Karamazov on thursday. about 150 pages in. I started it once 10 years ago but lost interest. This time I was thinking this is the most interesting and rewarding novel I've ever encountered, but now.. it's getting a little dull again. At the time of writing this I doubt I will finish it.. 10 years ago I thought it was sometimes unfathomably brilliant, a lot of the time dull and it feels it again.. Maybe I got lost in this whole Katerina Ivanovna affair. It switches from the monestary to Katerina Ivanovna and Grushenka somewhat abrubtly and eclectically, and it's a little bit hard to follow. I think Mitja has come to the conclusion that Katerina will never want him because he lost some money on Grushenka, and so he has decided to leave Katerina with head held high, not because he wants to but because he keeps punishing himself. He thinks it's the thing to do, and he thinks that he wants Grushenka, possibly because he went with her a few days and he thinks that is what having gone with her should mean, but more likely because he needs a harbor to crash whatever savings he has into once he has finalized the affair with Katerina, which, again, I don't think he wants to do. And I don't think she'll want to either, and maybe it is because, as he said, she loves her holiness, but the thing is that Katerina is one of the few people who know that Mitja is, ultimately, very good, even though he doesn't understand it himself. This is very good for me, as a reader, because I am judgemental, and it is very good for me to be reminded that a man like Mitja, who seduces and dumps aristocratic virgins (unless he embellished out of self-loathing) can very well be a much better man than myself.

That's what I think but I'm really not sure. Maybe I am interested. I could be 2dumbe for Dostos literary genius and have most of the above wrong though, I'm not sure. Hopefully Katerina will clear up some things. Maybe my real problem with the book is I'm reading it too fast. I got the /lit/ bug recently, I just want to finish a bunch of books. Supposedly that is going to save me.

In reality what I should do is just get my regular life in order. I've sort of gone with Jesus' advice that one should rather listen to Teaching than busy oneself with the world, but if one is to give one must first have something to give, and I'm just walking in stupid circles trying to get wise. I don't know, I switch life-plans significantly more often than I switch socks (and that's probably a bad thing).

I am not at peace.