/lit/ - Literature

I was never good at social situations and i myself talk like an autist. I want to be a movie director and i want to make movies from the original stories i make.
I have a software for screenwriting with a cardboard in it, for structuring a movie (each card represents a scene).
Ive made cards for all acts (it's a regular three act structure movie).
Now as im writing these scenes i see that my dialogues are cringe. I can write a good scene easily with descriptions and the situations that happen during a scene, but when it comes to a dialogue when i need to reveal my characters feelings and thoughts, of course i do big cringe. And im afraid of that.
While my story ideas and scene ideas are great (or interesting at the very least) in no doubt (they are complex and two layered, no explanations, lots of symbolism) my dialogues are pure shit. What do? Also im writing a script in my native language if that matters.
Here is an example of a dialogue i wrote for a scene (M - male, F - female, both characters are looking at the sun during the sunrising. F is a very energetic, spontaneous, girl 24 years old. M is a passive, reserved guy 25 years old. They are a couple).

F: What the world will be in 100 years? What do you think?
M: i don't know
F with a clear sign of dissatisfaction with that answer looks away.
M: I hope that we will figure out a way how to fly.

The dialogue happens during the first scene of this movie. I wanted to show the passiveness and at the same time the deeper feelings of the main character as he wants to fly away from everything. While his girlfriend being interested in the world that she lives in. I don't really want to reveal the plot of the movie but it happens in the first years of 20th century in the village.

>> your ship arrives on mars and all dead comedians have been reincarnated here

We laughed, we cried, we sat in revelry all night long. Me and the comedians of mars. Imagine the BOMBEST standup comedy set that never happened, featuring all your favourite comedians. That's what it was like for me and my crew mates that first night on the planet.

Richard Pryor, John Belushi, Rodney Dangerfield. it was stand up set after stand up set. unlimited drinks and the atmosphere felt like a comedy club back home.

John Candy, one of the greatest comedic actors of all time, approached me late into the night, his gargantuan size still ever present.

"hey bud, it's time you met our leader".

"your leader? You mean, like... God?" I asked, unsure how all of this could be happening without some sort of deity making it possible.

"Well, I guess you could consider him a God around here, everyone here on mars sure does" he said, lighting up a cigar and laughing to himself knowingly.

"well sure thing John Candy, I loved you in Uncle buck by the way, great film!"

"Glad you liked it kid, one of Huey boy's best"

"oh, is John Hughes here too?" I asked, referring the director of the 1980's cult classic.

"oh no no no, he's a director, not a comedian. They go to Uranus".

He snaked me through a winding path in the mars comedy cabaret where me and my crew were staying that night. There was a flurry of people everywhere, great comedians from ages long past. We continued on, until we finally we reached some stairs that seemed to descend into the basement of the club. There we got to a solid gold door with the words "dear leader" emblazoned on it.

I opened the door and was surprised to find the leader of mars, seated behind a large mahogany table, was none other than the great Charlie Chaplin. "mr Chaplin, it's an honour to meet yo-"

"Whoa, slow down there kiddo. e doesn't speak English" John Candy interrupted. I turned to look at John, my brows furrowed in visible confusion.

"But Charlie Chaplin is one of the greatest American comedians of all time, how does he not know English?"

Candy started laughing and coughed some cigar smoke out of his fat mouth. "oh, this isn't Charlie, kiddo. You see, there musta been some confusion somewhere up in head office or something when they were sending all the comedians to Mars..." he explained.

My mouth opened wide as I finally understood what he meant. John saw the spark in my eyes and started clapping me on the back "do you speak German, kid?" he asked me in a shaky voice, tears now streaming down both our faces.

"you mean, it's h-him....it's really h-him" I asked John, as the man stood up from behind the desk and approached me.

Hitler took me in a warm embrace, and held me like a lost child who had finally found his way back home. I stood in his arms, never wanting to let go, feeling that If I did I might never see him again.

"Sir..." I said to the leader of Mars, "...we're taking you home".

redpill me on story structure