/lit/ - Literature

Hey /lit/, I'm working on this poem for a girl I like. Let me know what you think:

You burning ray who
occupies the space between two stars,
your open palms are pouring
down a river of light.
Water and honey run together
down your cheeks
like silver saws, cutting away.
Barefoot on top of the water-tower,
where the wind moves in waves
and tides through the trees.
It lifts you and bends you
out into the atmosphere.
Upwards! Up and away
through the sky.

She came from the meadow,
where the wind is dead
and the light is dim.
No grass grows,
just ashes and dust.
No seed sows,
it's salt and sand.
Young men must search
all rusted roads
and dark waters
to find such a place.
She came with flowers in her hair