/lit/ - Literature

I should be at the peak of my life, but right when I was over the anxiety and depression that had been prevented me from truly blossoming into who I am, I have fallen into a spiral of hypochondria at age 26. It was a long time coming.

My left eye has retinal holes that have since healed, but I now have a permanent black spot in my central vision. It moves with my eye and looks like a semicolon. Another barrier between my mind and the world, as if my own psychical body was punishing me. But I will press on because succumbing to my mind again (and now these physical ailments) would definitely cause me suicidal regret decades from now. I will not be crippled again.

Constant, hyper-subjective self-maintenance is a symptom of an idle mind that's not present. I can learn from this and let it be a reminder, that every time I succumb to these thoughts and focus on these black specks in my eye, I am falling into my old ways. And I refuse to do it any longer.