/lit/ - Literature

https://youtu.be/ae8Yxo8-jSM


The year is 2024. The presidential debates are set to begin at the OPEC WWE Arena in New York sponsored by the Saudi royal family. Morgan Wallen blares over the loud speakers as Trump rolls down the walkway in his limousine waving a modified confederate flag that portrays Aunt Jemima cradling an abortion along with the confusing stitching at the bottom exclaiming, 'Come and Take it'. He raises his middle finger to the sea of red hats and is met with a roaring applause. Trump exits the vehicle and orders the illegal immigrants to form a human stairway so that he may properly enter the stage -- after which they are immediately deported. He positions himself behind the podium and patiently awaits his combatant.

Biden enters the arena with a new, modern version of the now-classic song from his childhood: Beethoven's Moonshine Ensalada -- a clever political ploy to appeal to both rural and Latinx voters. The cheering of the crowd is suspiciously loud as there appears to be no one on his side of the entryway -- The media reports his unrivaled popularity regardless. As he proceeds down the aisle, he is accompanied by lazy unionized railroad workers who show visible signs of illness coupled with unappreciative grumblings as they lament the forced opportunity to work on their day off. By the time he reached the stage, gas prices had jumped 75 cents and eggs became the new local currency. Biden attempts to enter the stage....but falls.