/lit/ - Literature

Everyone has the body of someone in early-20s, the brain of a child and the wisdom or knowledge of a 60 year old

or one where I'm not alive

>>6379209
I read it all. I think you did the characters very well, along with the dialogue. I laughed a few times at the broken english spoken by the asians because it is so correct from my experience.

Also I think you did the translations well.

The only meaningful critique I could make is, the pacing seems off to me. As in, I felt that you built up the start for a longer story than it ended up being. I can see how that would have been the goal, making the ending abrupt and sharp but if that was your intention I think you should alter the looseness of the rest.