/lit/ - Literature

>>20373261
Stop going on the internet. You might see pictures of women there. Seriously, shut the fuck up.

I jerk off to extreme femdom and maledom where I am the subject of the abuse. Cuckoldry, humiliation, degradation, torture, abuse, snuffing and suicide. I cut myself for women and trannies on discord. My extreme masochism, 4chan and porn have ruined me. For 5 years I have tried to stop and cure myself of my addiction, since the first time I masturbated to cuck porn, but I haven't succeeded. I don't have any other fixable problems in life. I have a loving family, girlfriend and friends, and I apologize to them all for my condition and my coldness. I got to 1/2/3/4, go on NoFap every other week, sun my balls and take cold showers. And yet, my ugly self can't stop.
This has started to seep into my real life persona. I was always a shut in but it has gotten to the point where I can't look people in the eyes at all. I don't consider myself worthy of a womans love, but I am not pretty enough to become gay. I'll never confess to anyone in real life because I don't want to hurt them, aside from my trust issues. Every other guy mogs me with the pure fact of just not being like me. I have failed religion and God, and I have failed my community, the local and the global. I don't know what else is there to do nor how long I will last. This shallow attempt to communicate my pain to this void means nothing.

Books for this feel?