/lit/ - Literature

>>8890646
Possibly you didn't learn as much as you're assuming you did. And I'm not at all trying to put you down, but what you're describing is not uncommon. In my experience, when you go through these sorts of things, your depression and sense of pointlessness and hopelessness eventually becomes so great, that you sort of give up and concede ultimate defeat and stop caring about your suffering altogether. At some point after that, maybe many years after living with that constantly, that feeling always with you so deeply it's in your bones, then you sort of rise from the grave and are reborn. Which sounds like total bullshit I'm sure, but that's my subjective impression of what happened to me. That's not a putdown, and much more to the point, it's not bragging. Because our egos like to imagine they've suffered more than others have, and it leads to inner boasting and pride, a perversely inverted form of vanity, and the opposite of empathy.