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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.20696483 [View]
File: 720 KB, 1080x3250, Shower Thoughts Of Apricots_220617_110128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20696483

>>20696338
Sex. The last 2 lines need to be reworked but the rest is fine. I like "honey and a guillotine", but wouldn't something like "honeyed guillotine" work better? "Take my head and fill it up" I think could also change to make the double-meaning better. The 2nd to last line has too many syllables, it's too awkward. You could also do something a lot naughtier sounding to give the poem that extra punch at the end. Something like Herrick's The Vine.

>> No.20567759 [View]
File: 720 KB, 1080x3250, Shower Thoughts Of Apricots_220617_110128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20567759

>>20566221
Sounds fun. How's this?

>> No.20544794 [View]
File: 720 KB, 1080x3250, Shower Thoughts Of Apricots_220617_110128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20544794

>>20541392
One of my latest poems

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