/lit/ - Literature

> Hey, Anon, show me what you are reading!
You show the current page, it's:
> that indeed everything was filled with sperm, except the captain’s pantaloons pockets, and those he reserved to thrust his hands into, in self-complacent testimony of his entire satisfaction.

I'm a 23 year old engineer, and my thought was shaped by physics, Plato, Aristotle, and Spinoza. I am spiritual, but I believe in an organic, All-Is-One universe as presented in Ethics and Parmenides. I just finished reading the Bible recently and to me, the Old Testament was, spiritually, no different than ancient Greek or other Near Eastern works, and plenty of Old Testament works were analogous to ancient Greek works I have read.

The New Testament's gospels were touching but books like Revelations simply read as nonsense. Is there any reason to go from being philosophy-minded and spiritually open to being a Christian?

I'm turning 24 soon and I've come to the realization that the pursuit of knowledge has led me down an endless rabbit hole full of misery. I graduated from university with an engineering degree 2 years ago; I've done nothing but focus on reading archaic texts nobody bothers with anymore and playing a number games with physics and math since I was a junior in high school.

All of my old classmates are either married or in long term relationships, and most have kids. I have nothing but a bookshelf full of tomes nobody cares to talk about. I used to pride myself on asceticism but I've realized the pursuit of knowledge can't suppress the dread forever and that Solomon was right all along.

The worst part is that I'm attractive enough and had several attractive girlfriends in the past that I threw away to focus on myself, thinking I could find a girl whenever I was ready. But at my age everybody is settled and nobody wants to deal with a bitter pseudo-philosopher with a superiority complex and a mind stuck in ancient Athens