/lit/ - Literature

Epicurus was right. If you want to be happy, you should forget about the day-to-day bustle of the hoi polloi and retreat to the garden with a few good friends. Fame is a fools errand.

>tried to write a short synopsis of the novel I'm planning
>only figured out a quarter of the book before my brain crapped out
>and only for one out of four main characters

I deserve to hang

>got my inspiration back
>for four hours
>then went back to being as aimless, depressed and bored as before

I want to die /wg/, just let me fucking die

/wg/, I feel like I'm never going to get my spark back. it's been so long and the dark, depressing night still has so much longer to go

>tfw I was planning on my book being a series but my spark fizzled out and I've spent the last two years slowly dragging my soulless husk towards the 75% mark and can't even fantasize about the sequels

I'm never going to be able to do this, am I

>>16630127
I already know I'm stupid. But I'm not even asking for much okay? I try to live as frugal as possible. Most of my money go to my saving. I'm not even saving for anything, just so I can have some security between jobs or for illness. It feels so unfair.

>>16180215
I didn't know that Joyce wrote poetry, unless it is a different Joyce.
It isn't that the romantics are dry—i'm a non-fiction reader after all, I've chewed through my fair share of cardboard—it's just that they are very, uhh... obvious? explicit? exoteric?
I know this is near blasphemous, but I really disliked Coleridge's 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner'. I could appreciate the craft, but it just seemed there was nothing to the poem beyond the explicit tale of the Mariner wrapped in florid verse. I guess i want something both meaningful and beautiful, but can't appreciate a poem on aesthetics alone.

All I want is a lifetime of passionate, obsessive interests and the constant thrill of having a breakthrough, but as time goes on I feel these things less and less. The passions are weaker, the breakthroughs less rewarding, the interests don't last as long, and there are longer gaps in between. Many of my interests burned away, and after many years they still have yet to come back.

My therapist isn't helping me, medications aren't doing enough, and everything I've done in pursuit of this dream has failed completely and left me more frustrated than before.

I wonder how long it will be before there's nothing left for me. Maybe it's already happened and I just don't know it

>tfw need to be writing but every word sounds so discordant in my mind's ears that I can't even choose one
>tfw could be cooking but every dish I think of sounds gross

I have too much of an autismo voice

I used to be gifted /lit/.

I can't remember the last time I really felt proud

>tfw I got my inspiration back
>tfw I lost it two days later when the weather changed

>tfw you used to love writing and spent hours fantasizing about stories every day at work
>now you no longer feel passion for it and it shows so strongly in your work that the product is demoralizingly bad

What do I have to do /lit/? What even can I do to get my purpose back?

I'm beginning to lose faith that I'm ever going to enjoy writing fantasy again

>seeking success and recognition is hollow because less than 1% of 1% will ever achieve it
>achieving success and recognition is hollow because it will never be enough and you'll only see that fame decline
>abandoning the pursuit of success and recognition is hollow because you no longer have any reason to do anything but sit there and wait out the rest of your meaningless existence

>tfw you're certain you're going to have to re-write your entire book from top to bottom before it's even decent
>tfw you realize there's no way not to write a scene badly because you didn't think it through, and now you're paralyzed with writer's block

Marx was right about history but by spelling it out he broke it. 20th century socialism was an authoritarian failure despite the many marxists that opposed authoritarianism, and in the 21st capital has become unstoppable. The end of mankind is closer than the end of capitalism.There are no brakes on this train and we're speeding toward a fucking wall.
Eat, drink, and be merry. Nothing can be done.

>>11860842
While it certainly doesn't help that /pol/ tends to use terrible (at best) sources like Lynn, it's not your racism that bothers me. It's the fact that you go about it in such an annoying way. In every board, I can find the exact same shit posts, the exact same arguments, the exact same "lol ur a kike triggered much!?!?!?!??!" retorts when people point out how retarded you are. One would think that they are all made by some self-learning AI posting slight variants of the same 5 posts all over the site, but it's actually just a bunch of NPC terrible meme btw Drones turned racist because of videogame controversies spouting the shit they learn in le edgy sekrit /pol/ klub.

It's all so incredibly tiresome

I just wanna do east asian languages and literature but I can't because it's too far away and me mum can't afford it so now I'm stuck in a translation degree that I hate fuck