/lit/ - Literature

>don't feel like doing anything
>don't want anything
>find everything boring
>real life is boring movies are boring anime is boring porn is boring books are ok for now
>just want to lie down and do nothing
>wouldn't mind being homeless if it weren't for the winter
>lying down and doing nothing makes me feel everything around me and makes me aware of my own existence
>sometimes daydream about being violent or being sexually deviant out of boredom and the mundane although the idea of acting out just seems boring and repugnant
book for this feel?

Socialization is like a drug, and I don't like that - at least, not when I'm gf-less. Throughout my teen years I was a loner by choice and I loved it. My friends had started to annoy me and I got interested in some hobbies that would keep me occupied by myself for many years. But in my early twenties I realized that that lifestyle was no longer fulfilling, and I didn't want to end up being a 40y/o virgin whose life passed him by, so I decided to do something about it.

I eventually got a gf, and it was great. We only lasted a few months (after being friends for a year), but I still consider her my best friend, even though we haven't seen each other since. We weren't right for each other; that's okay. It was nice while it lasted.

I've been single for 2 years now, dating a couple girls here and there, but none lasting for more than a few weeks - and few past the first date.

I'm not one to settle, but I often think back to the aforementioned ex, and how even though we were both frustrated by the relationship at the end, and it needed to end, and I wouldn't go back to her... I was still content. I haven't been content since then. It sucks. It makes me not want to do anything.

I want somebody to love, and I want somebody who loves me. I don't care about friends. All I need is one person in my life, but I still haven't found anyone. And twice now, I've met a girl who really seemed like "the one", only to find out that she already had a bf. The worst part is I know for a fact at least one would have been interested; I'm almost certain the other too. But that one I may never see again, even if she breaks up with her bf eventually. I hate what ifs.

Whenever I come home from being in a social situation, I feel cripplingly lonely for the next day or two. It's like withdrawal symptoms. But I don't really crave those social situations I came home from; I just crave having a life partner who I love. Going home to an empty apartment reminds me I have no one.

>>10667352

Yes I'd like to solve

Where do I start with non-fic?

(like, specifically)

pic unrelated

>>8711543

id like to solve