/lit/ - Literature

>>9799418

I hate your characters' names. Your character development is lacking. As a result, I can't bring myself to care what happens to either of them. The plot twist at the end is silly.

Sentence structure is lacks diversity and rhythm:
X verb[ed] Y.

"Dante said nothing."
"Dante woke up..."
"He looked around..."
"Dante rose out of his bed."
"The president stepped out of the car, ..."
"Fiora spoke up."
"She [suddenly] stopped speaking."
"Dante started to worry."

Zzzzzzzz.

I don't know how old you are, or how much you've read. I don't want to completely shit on your efforts.
Keep writing, but I'd suggest you spend a lot more time reading. You'll benefit from editing your work once you've read more.
Good luck.