/lit/ - Literature

>>8657822
Probably, yeah. I do have tumblr but I only use it to post my autistic story / shitty art.

>>8658614
Yeah it's kinda a random death. Basically they're fighting some giant-ass war, she's the mother of the main character's children, he dies, she realizes if this gun thing goes up her kids are gonna die so she goes along. Her death is meant to be blindsiding and suffering, almost in a crufixiion kind of way that she suffers to death to save her kids. It's dumb in some ways but that's what I'm going for.

I did shorten it quite a bit. Which is the sad part. But if you think I should shorten it more, I will try to. The "childish whine" part I'll remove, I forgot it was still in there.

The biggest thing I want to preserve with the scene, is that she doesn't really intend to die. She just gets pinned down and gets frustrated trying to get out.

The part where she's screaming "fuck!" and "fuck you!" with all the spattering noises and shooting, that's the part I want to preserve, while Myron is pinned down and he can only listen to all the awful noises of his friend getting shot to death. if I can shorten it up I will, the shorter it is the stronger it is. But that part is how I imagined it and it made me feel sick cause she was one of my favorite characters.