/lit/ - Literature

please tear this apart as much as you can, thank you

>>8488812
i think that is a legitimate fear- the concept itself is more interesting than the writing
though this could provide like a skeletal framework for something if you want to be fancy with the writing

>>8488822
it's meh. nice imagery, but boring in general. exploration of form with sexual imagery is sorta overused, and i think it's a little vague in terms of tone it wants to convey- exploration of the form leaves little room for non-sexual passion to be found, and it leaves me a little confused at the ending which shows disappointment and disgust

though i'd have to see it in context to judge fully

>>8488852
it's fun. not my style, but you write well enough to play around with words and get the point accross and convey an image

keep going