/lit/ - Literature

Describe what makes a man /lit/. Is it money? Books that describe what a man should be?

Walking back to my flat on a quiet, cool, pointless Tuesday night as there is an inexplicable number of happy normies on the streets after an evening I spent walking through central London, with some time in a library, and then drinking coffee outside, all to feel less alone. But then the patheticness of my utter lack of social capital hits me as I buy food (somehow not binge food). The sadness of a sunny day turning in to night analogous to promise turning in to pointlessness.

I binged myself today...

>went walking around Shoreditch on an extremely hot and sunny day and saw the Chad and Stacey mass and felt horror at my lost youth, my eternal ugliness, my life on hard mode, my total lack of motivation and passions, my boredom, my everythingstential crisis, and my low energy

>woke up
>read a book
>ate and browsed internet
>threw away the coffee I bought for home yesterday while telling myself I'd stop drinking coffee
>want coffee even though I feel like crap for having ruined sleep
>currently sitting in a park in central London, on an extremely hot and sunny day, feeling sad about life

Monday to Wednesday this week have all been identical to the above but with a long walk, demoralisation due to seeing lots of Staceys, coffee at the end of the day, and a vow to sort out my life tomorrow.

Sitting indoors and doing productive stuff would make me feel like a loser who misses out on the sun. Being outside makes me feel like a loser.
It is impossible to put effort in to anything when I am social detritus.

>woke up at 9 am
>read a book for a short time
>eat and then browse the internet for about 5 hours
>feeling an extreme lack of motivation
>couldn't bring myself to do anything productive

>spent the past 4 years wasting all my free time on the internet
>no social experiences, no friends, never had female attention or been to pub, club, or party
>tfw aged twenty seven and my life feels over
>have a boring job in London (that miraculously requires no work)
>live paycheck to paycheck
>I'm an ugly beta that feels bitter that normies live such easy lives

My only plan for the rest of today is exercise, and maybe walking outside, and maybe drinking the Last Coffee Ever.

I miss the cold weather.

I feel like I'm stranded in an ocean of potential stuff to do and trying to do fulfilling things is like aimlessly struggling. There are textbooks and books filled with stuff I should know.

What can cure me of the motivational collapse that I have had for 4.5 years?

I'm a 27 year old ugly beta autist with no friends or social experiences since school. I've never had female attention ever. I have no passions and no hobbies except for mindlessly browsing the internet, reading, exercising, and walking around while hoping my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted.

I currently have a boring bureaucrat job, though it gives me miraculously little work. My ugliness, autistness, and lack of poshness cause me to fail almost all job interviews. Working 9-5 crushes me mentally and it is worse when I save almost nothing and will never advance the career ladder quickly.

I did very well in education when I was motivated but being around normies in their prime while I was a loser doing a degree I didn't care about was tortuous. My motivational collapse started in university. My work ethic became non existent and I barely passed with an acceptable grade.

I live in a tiny flat in London and save nothing, though I will start a higher paying job at a famous employer later. I waste large amounts of money on coffee and junk food binges to stop feeling sad.

I have had so much free time but I have wasted almost all of it due to an extreme lack of initiative. I find it nearly impossible to do productive things in my free time when I know normies are out having fun or getting large salaries for rewarding jobs.

I know that social skills are mostly down to looks. I know that I have life on hard mode because I'm an ugly male. I know that all women and Chads have life on easy mode.

I understand that all philosophical axioms are arbitrary. No self help or religious bullshit will ever help me. I constantly think of myself in psychological instead of definite terms ("If I eat now, I'm less likely to do work in an hour"). I constantly feel guilty for not being productive, like a loser for not having fun, like a coward for not having my own personal philosophy.

>hot and sunny day in London
>woke up at 7 am after 4 hours of bad sleep
>drink coffee and read the idiot
>have to go back to sleep
>wake up at noon
>read the idiot while drinking coffee, then cleaned my room (no existential benefits detected)
>got bored and gave up on the book (mentally tough because it is loved by pseuds who will now call me dumb for not reading it)
>went jogging
>watched second half of France Argentina match
>threw my coffee in the bin because it ruins my sleep
>kind of want to binge on junk food right now while waiting for the next match
>compromise by going out (sight of Staceys is highly demoralising btw) to go to McDonalds
>try to compromise on the compromise by giving myself a condition to follow as punishment for going to McDonalds instead of not spending so much money (I buy two large meals and two burgers for myself)
>"My last mcdonalds of the month... No, I'll start working hard on stuff tomorrow... No, I'll give up coffee..."
>decide to just have a McDonalds and not have any conditions; I'll just have the fucking McDonalds; no rules or heuristics that attempt to give meaning or structure to this nihilistic void that I'm living in (and I'd see these life rules as stupid soon anyway, probably in my upcoming caffeine / sugar / carb rush)
>currently in McDonalds

Tell me how to get over my everythingstential crisis, stop wasting all my free time on the internet to procrastinate the real world, and stop feeling tortured by everything I do, don't do, and how I do things.

>wake up at 9.30 am
>browse internet on phone and read a book
>go to gym
>eat in flat and watch football a little bit
>went in to central London on a hot and sunny day to walk around, drink coffee, and feel sad about life
>walked around a bit in extremely normie infested areas
>walking through Oxford Street made me feel like the late 20s boomer that I truly am
>became demoralising after seeing ten million Staceys
>currently drinking coffee and feeling sad about life

I can't motivate myself to do anything productive. I feel like I'm a million years of work away from being able to do anything worthwhile. I have a degree and did well at school but I feel like I need to read or learn lots of basic stuff or else I'll stay a pleb.

My early 20s were wasted. I hated my degree. I am jelly of people in high status jobs like medicine or law or finance but I know these are all pointless jobs so it's not like I can imagine myself in them. If only I had expertise in anything, but I don't.

I wish I could force myself to stay indoors and learn productive stuff but I feel like such a loser if I do. And when I go outside I feel like an ugly loser anyway.

Reading feels like such a pointless consumercuck activity these days. The entire idea of humanities "intellectuals" is disgusting to me. And being a consumercuck is not lie being a producerbull

>depressed
>neet
>dont want to work
Any books for motivation to help with depression, start finding jobs, and working? Ive read The Metamorphosis by Kafka so far.

>be me
>be 27 year old ugly beta loser nofriends autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no female attention ever, have never been to a pub, club, or party
>wake up at 10 am
>read a book and browse internet on my phone
>clean room (with no existential benefits)
>go to gym
>go to work (skipped work yesterday)
>leave work after 5 minutes because I have nothing to do
>hadn't eaten for over 36 hours but had a small binge
>went in to central London at 5 pm on a hot and sunny day to walk around, feel sad about life, and drink coffee
>see office Staceys everywhere
>walk through Holland Park and feel sad because I saw Chad and Stacey couples everywhere and the brute fact of my inferior genetics was never more stark
>currently drinking coffee

My mum was on holiday in London for a long weekend. I met her once but after that I just couldn't stand being with her with nothing to say or walking around with her slowly. I just ignored her calls after the first day and eventually said I was busy. We must have looked like a parade of faulty genetics.

I am realising that I am long past the bitter point of no return when it comes to having a social life.

>be me
>be 27 year old ugly beta loser nofriends autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no female attention ever, have never been to a pub, club, or party
>wake up at 10 am
>read a book and browse internet on my phone
>clean room (with no existential benefits)
>go to gym
>go to work (skipped work yesterday)
>leave work after 5 minutes because I have nothing to do
>hadn't eaten for over 36 hours but had a small binge
>went in to central London at 5 pm on a hot and sunny day to walk around, feel sad about life, and drink coffee
>see office Staceys everywhere
>walk through Holland Park and feel sad because I saw Chad and Stacey couples everywhere and the brute fact of my inferior genetics was never more stark
>currently drinking coffee

My mum was on holiday in London for a long weekend. I met her once but after that I just couldn't stand being with her with nothing to say or walking around with her slowly. I just ignored her calls after the first day and eventually said I was busy. We must have looked like a parade of faulty genetics.

I am realising that I am long past the bitter point of no return when it comes to having a social life.

What books should I read if I find all informal social experiences excruciating and unbearable?

I'm also blackpilled and know my life is on hard mode because I'm ugly. I'm also introverted and know that's a disadvantage, though introversion is a natural reaction to being ugly

>be me
>be 27 year old ugly beta loser nofriends autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no female attention ever, have never been to a pub, club, or party
>wake up at 10 am
>go jogging
>have gone in to central London
>hot and sunny day so chads and Staceys are everywhere, which is demoralising
>drank coffee and didn't feel a lot better
>walked through central London, from the British Museum to Shoreditch
>lots of new office skyscrapers appearing, which will be filled with cool young rich people working in rewarding jobs
>didn't go near Brick Lane because it would be too traumatic but saw more than enough Staceys to lose all hope for life
>now going back to flat with nothing to do except waste time on the internet, read boring books for pseud cred, eat (I can't afford to binge on junk food), or watch the Norf FC vs Suverner FC Prole Distraction Cup

I may binge again but I don't know how to justify it

>be me
>be 27 year old ugly beta loser nofriends autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no female attention ever, have never been to a pub, club, or party
>wake up at 7 am (too early but can't get back to sleep)
>waste time on internet browsing for 5 hours (I could be posting this at 1 pm!)
>decide to skip exercise and go to work
>spend less than 1 hour at work then leave
>it's hot sunny and I have no clue how people can bear wagecucking 8 hours a day in this weather-how will I cope in the future?
>go jogging when I go back home, which feels good
>go in to central London to procrastinate doing anything productive, walk around, feel sad about life, and drink coffee
>go to library and see a few more books I feel like I need to read for the pseud cred
>leave library because I could read at home and I don't want people to see me trying to affect a public liking for books, as if I read in public to get attention or feel less alone
>walk around a bit (just before 6 pm), seeing the wagecucks scurry everywhere
>see a group of people leaving a WeWork (offices for cool small companies) and have nightmare flashforwards to any forced workplace socialising- I've already established myself as the office ugly loser
>see numales and nerds and posh people, probably future millionaire 24 year olds who are world class programmers who dropped out of elite unis or spent 2 years in IBD before doing something fulfilling
>currently drinking coffee (hopefully for the last time) while craving McDonalds (hopefully the last time) and feeling sad at seeing all the office Staceys

The only way I can see fulfilment is if I work hard but I feel like I would have to work 24/7 with zero motivation while flushing my 20s down the drain while bitterly watching everyone else get everything handed to them.

I simply cannot will myself to do anything productive at home. I feel cucked by everything I do or don't do. I feel like I'm a million miles from any destination.