/lit/ - Literature

>>12219061
Fuck, this perfectly describes me. I'm an introvert, but feel that if I try, I can overcome my anxiousness around people. But that would mean losing the introvert's personality, which I feel is unique to me.

I wonder if my brain is fucked up beyond repair.

I can hardly read anymore without getting distracted. My grades are suffering because I have no sense of self-discipline and I constantly go back to my computer and pursue mindless entertainment when I need to be reading.

I'm in my first quarter of college. If I don't fix things soon, I will not survive.

I used to read for fun all the time. Now, I hardly can focus, and when I do read I'm just wracked with guilt because I read at a glacial pace. My ex-roommate often would make fun of me for how slow I could read.

I feel like a fraud; I shouldn't have made it to college, and now I'm stuck with the belief that I'm intelligent when really I think it was a superiority complex developed when I was placed in the "Gifted" group in like the 2nd grade for reading. I'm aggressively mediocre. I am ludicrously underprepared for academia, but I legitimately cannot see myself pursuing anything else.

I don't know how to cultivate self-discipline. I legitimately don't. In high school, I didn't really need to, and now I'm drowning.

Fuck.

>write a paragraph
>lose all energy to continue writing
>come back the next day and realise it's shit
>rinse and repeat