/lit/ - Literature

>>6853978

>>http://pastebin.com/yZaYsLhr

Here is the first chapter for my sci-fi novel. I'd really appreciate it if anyone would give feedback. I've seen some good writing on here before and know you guys can judge, so this is my first time posting. Thanks for anything and everything, guys.

>>Here's one I know needs alot of work, but I thought I'd post it anyway.

An Antipas culture of eager washers;
Arjuna’s exposure come swift,
To compile and morph to Admetus,
Sliming from a cunt, out came Fetus.
Their ways are a corpus of tomes,
A graveyard of undead acumen;
The murderous insensitive sensitives –
Silencing all wants in a binge.

Veneration shines from within,
From purloin pores, like soulless sheiks,
Oozing an unholy oil;
Lathering in our heart’s basin.
Revering ourselves through the eighth sacrament
Evolution takes a horrible turn,
Turning our purpose against we mortals:
Addiction for that instant of drive.

Hue blinds us
They strike thus:
That man is woman,
Lioness her reverse equal
Daniel grew old behind the stone
As the cohort exchanged manes in sequel.
Thane reverends support but one,
The holy god we all have,
Striving, burning Passion
For yearning parity in life . . .
Find it there, no here,
I tell you, find it not anywhere.

Excise and eradicate!
Eradicate and excise!
For the truths of ethic decency
In too few minds are transcribed.
Death to the infidels!
Disgust to indecency!
Damn the left-right idea!
Abolish all abolitionists.
In us, destroy complacency.