/lit/ - Literature

>>15569835
>>15569838

So I'm not much of a poetry enthusiast and I have no founded critique to offer but it bothers me that you post it here, then call it trash. Might be attention-whoring but in case it isn't:
it only get's trashy with the last two lines. The beginning is maybe a bit corny and certainly not outstanding in any way but it conveys emotion nicely. Work more on it.

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Pic related is the first page of my recently finished novel. I like the narrative and the voice and I think there are some real good passages in it (the novel, not necessarily the first page), but I'm more than skeptical about my plot line. Any tips appreciated.